Honouring Our Values: Letting Values Be Our Guide During Adversity
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Our values draw us toward people we admire and love. They guide our everyday choices and instinctively inform us to what is right and wrong behaviour. Our values are also our superpower when we encounter difficult situations and adversity. When we are challenged, our values help us make difficult decisions, reconciling what we should and should not do (or say and should not say), especially if there is a ‘price’ to pay for our action or inaction.
This article is an exploration of how we can ease our journey through adversity by understanding how our values can help us in a very conscious way.
Step 1. Know Our Personal and Professional Values and What They Mean To Us
Most of us don’t pay attention to our values, and that is OK. When nothing unusual is happening our values sit in the background, like software running on our computer always doing something. But there is still great benefit in taking time to get to know our personal and professional values and what they mean to us.
When we have explored what our values are and what they mean to us, we can use them to make the right decisions quickly and confidently… especially when we have to make difficult or challenging decisions. Knowing our values allows us to confidently stand for what we believe in and to show ourselves respect. This ability to make good decisions quickly also becomes part of our reputation, we become known for our quick, thoughtful, and reliable decision making.
Step 2. Consciously Use Our Values To Explore Challenging Situations
When we feel worried, confused, vulnerable or even threatened, what do we do? We have only two choices. React or Respond.
When our emotions get triggered you and I react, and risk making less than ideal decisions. When we react our actions are based on instinct and have very little to no analytical engagement. Questions like “Why is this happening?”, “What is most important to me?, and “What are my options,” have a slim chance of being evaluated. We need to accept that when our values are challenged we often will feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and even defensive. But, it doesn’t have to be this way when we spend some time getting to know our values in advance.
We can respond with confidence and clarity of mind when we consciously, purposefully use our values to guide our decisions and actions. When we respond versus react, our values help us understand what is going on, what we are feeling and help us decide what we want to do next. We can evaluate what is important to us, the pros and cons of our actions and confidently be responsible for our decisions. All this may take only a fraction of a second or it may take some time… but it happens.
And, perhaps most important of all, knowing our values allow us to keep from forcing our values and our beliefs on others. I don’t believe our values should ever impact other people’s rights to express their values and beliefs. Challenging situations not only allow us to patiently evaluate a situation, they also allow us to evaluate our values, what they say about us and if this may be a time for us and/or our values to evolve.
Step 3. Use Our Values To Embrace Change and Growth
When we use our values to explore new ideas (or new values) and to consciously decide how we want to respond, means we are also giving ourselves a gift… we are giving ourselves an opportunity to learn, grow and change for the better every single time in a thoughtful, intentional way. Even the experience you are having at this moment by reading this article means you are intentionally using your values (like curiosity). And, even if you disagree with some or all of what I am sharing, the simple act of being thoughtful and evaluating a topic often translates to personal evolution and growth. I love this!
Unfortunately, fear sometimes prevents us from our instinct to grow. Instead of trying something new we go with what we know – what we think is safe but is actually holding us back. For example, how often do you order something completely different at a restaurant… or even choose to go to a new restaurant? I get it… the unknown can be scary and unpredictable. But look on the bright side, what new flavours, tastes and even company are you missing? What new favourite foods and friends might be out there so far… unexplored?
At work we have to accept that in today’s fast paced, highly technical, global market we can’t be expected to know everything. Even the smartest people and the best leaders don’t have all the answers. So, whether it is our personal lives, or our professional lives, we need to try to let our main values be ‘Growth Through Curiosity’ at least some of the time. We can learn to let our fear inform us and even empower us. Recognize that our fear is just letting us know there are new people and/or new information we have not yet had a chance to consider.
Conclusion
Get to know our values and how they can help us and the people around us in so many ways. Our values give us clarity and confidence, because getting to know our values allows us to get to know ourselves better.
Thank you for reading ‘Honouring Our Values: Letting Values Be Our Guide During Adversity’.
Be well and happy communicating, leading and creating a culture of belonging within your company or within your team.
Bruce
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Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting offers leadership training and professional development across Canada and the USA.
