Time Saving Tips For Your Office Commute And Business Travel.
/As work from office and business travel comes back, here are some ways to maximize your travel time:
Read MoreBe A Great Leader For All of Your Team.
Four Rules To Be An Effective Leader
/Rule 1.
Lead by sharing a strategic vision and by honoring shared values with every decision. Be consistent with your company vision and values. Be an example that inspires others and help others be consistent with your company vision and values. At some moment in time it may be important to break the rules and do something unexpected… daring… challenging. But if your decisions are always in-line with your overall vision and values, it will be OK.
Rule 2.
Have someone (or a team) who can push you. Find successful people you trust, work with them and listen to them. Also find successful people who will listen to you and who are not scared of disagreeing with you – who will challenge you and enter into open, creative, productive, respectful dialogue.
Rule 3.
Empower everyone around you. Give them the tools, resources and moral support to push their limits and grow. Help them be successful but don’t try to be them – be you. Everyone has special qualities to add. Together you are a force – apart you are alone.
Rule 4.
Read books and articles. Yes listing to others is important and watching YouTube videos has value. But we learn differently when we read and there are thousands of talented people who have written books and shared their great ideas. Take advantage of their experience.
Conclusion
There are many great things great leaders do. I encourage you to explore how you are doing with these four rules. Thank you for reading four rules to be an effective leader. Please share your own favourite leadership rule or rules in the comments.
Thank you.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
5 Email Writing Guidelines To Always Follow
/You likely get over a hundred email every day. I know many days I do.
There are two general types of email most of us receive. The most common is known as ‘Daily Business Email’. The other is what is often called ‘Promotional Email’.
I don’t have to explain what daily business email are, but let’s take a moment to be clear on what promotional email are. Promotional email is usually not junk mail. They are often sent from a business to a customer or prospect. Promotional email also usually fall into one of two categories:
Traditional Marketing Email: Loosely defined as a commercial message often meant to start or build a business-to-consumer relationship. They might be notifying us of the latest newsletter, or they may use our past history to send us notices of new inventory, items on special, upgrade opportunities or other items we may be interested in purchasing. These are the email that can start feeling intrusive.
Transactional Email: Loosely defined as a personalized, one-to-one message based on existing relationships. Transactional email is sometimes called ‘Triggered Email’ because they often are in response to an action a customer or prospect has taken. For example, the online order I placed yesterday has triggered two transactional email so far, one to confirm my order was received and another to say it has been shipped. Another example is when we are sent a notice to confirm we have changed / reset our password.
Why do I bother sharing this history with you? Because no matter if you write email to ‘do’ your job, or if your job is to write Marketing or Transactional email, we should all be following the same email writing guidelines. Great email etiquette is constant no matter what the purpose or who the email recipient is. How could that be? Because our goal is always the same; that we maximize the chance our intended reader(s) will open, read, understand our email and then act in accordance with our call-to-action.
5 Email Writing Guidelines To Always Follow To Write Better Email
As I said above, use the following five email writing guidelines whether you write ‘Daily Business Email’ or Promotional Email:
Use 5-7 words for your Subject Lines. Email subject lines should be short enough to be concise but long enough to tell our reader exactly why they're getting the email… and more than that, they should make a recipient want to open and read the email. The 5-7 rule is a good guideline.
Address your reader by name if you can. Your message will be seen as more relevant and inviting when they are personalized. How formal or informal depends on your relationship and what is expected within your corporate culture and/or brand. Always aim to make your reader feel they are valued and respected.
Incorporate a Call To Action (CTA) in the first sentence or two but don’t sound demanding, pushy or bossy. Repeat a version of the call to action at the end.
Achieve your goal by addressing the needs and/or wishes of the recipient / your customer. Sounds like a no-brainer, but it doesn’t always happen, especially with daily business email.Instead we often write messages as if they are writing to ourselves, therefore, the copy sounds self-serving.
Use whitespace to keep the message easy to read and easy to understand. This is one of the easiest guidelines to use but often the least used.
Email is one of the easiest ways for us to connect. And yes, there is more you could be doing. The email training workshops I’ve been teaching takes a whole half-day. But, I’m confident that if you follow these five key guidelines you will doing some of the best things to get your email opened, read, understood and answered. You will also save yourself and your readers lots of time as you build a trustworthy reputation.
NOTE for anyone sending ‘Promotional Email’: There is an option to insert special preview copy for ‘Traditional Marketing Email’ and ‘Transactional Email’ that I encourage you to use; it will help your reader prioritize your email. If you don’t use the special preview copy all is not lost, traditional marketing email and transactional email will fall back on the same rules daily business email follow and that is to show readers the first few lines of copy in your email.
BONUS: BOTTOM LINE EXAMPLE:
Either way, make sure your first sentence or your Special Preview Copy grabs your readers attention and lets your potential reader know why theyshould invest time out of their busy day to open and read your message. Here is the thing, even with Marketing email we often write as if we are writing to ourselves and address our needs… not their needs and their curiosity. This is important even if they already have a relationship with you. This is your chance to stand out and separate yourself from all the ‘noise’ they receive in their email inbox.
Whether it is in your recipients preview screen or if you are lucky enough that they have opened your email, assume the first two sentences of your email are what has to grab your readers attention. Imagine seeing an email that says.
Option 1 (not great)
Option 2 (much better at managing the readers objectives)
If you have a chance, add a comment and share:
1 thing you like about email
1 thing you don’t like about email
Thanks,
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
How to Prepare for a Job Interview: Level 1
/Tips to help make your job interview successful.
You need to prepare for a job interview; in fact, this may be your first job interview. Although the tips I’m sharing in this article are meant for someone relatively new to the job search and interview process, the tips can help anyone prepare, feel confident and make the best impression possible.
You Have Something Valuable to Offer
If you are just entering the workforce, it’s understandable you have limited formal work experience. That’s OK and to be expected. Don’t worry, you still have important abilities and experience to offer and talk about during your interview.
Other than actual work experience, lets explore examples of things you can share to demonstrate what kind of person you are and your interests.
Remember the paper route you had or how you spent a summer cutting lawns or babysitting?
Did you volunteer at a school event or track meet or organize a food drive with friends over the holidays?
Were you a lifeguard?
Have you been part of a sports team or club that had to work together?
Did you try out to be in a play at school or at summer camp?
Don't underestimate your work experience, including your volunteer activities. There is a long list of things you may have done or helped someone else with. What did any of those activities teach you about you? What did it teach you about your strengths or even about what you don’t like doing (just as important)? What did you learn about working with others? Write down what positive and not so positive experiences you had, and then, think about what you might want to share with a potential future employer to show them how amazing you are.
Additional Things to Prepare
To show your interview panel you have something valuable to offer, do a bit of work in advance. Things you should prepare and be ready to talk about are:
What are your values? What makes you – you?
Go through a Values Exercise and see what 4 or 5 values feel like you. Why do these values represent you?
What are your interests? What excites you?
What is your Vision Statement? Where do you see yourself in 6-months and 2-years?
What is your Mission Statement? What do you want to do now to get you to where you want to be as you described in your Vision Statement?
Why you want to work for / with this company / department / person?
Are you responsible / dependable? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.
Are you a hard worker? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.
Are you trustworthy? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.
Is there something else you want to share with them about you? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.
Research The Company and The Job In Advance
This is an important step to determine if you really want to work at this company and therefore invest more time in the process.
If you do decide the company and the work is interesting, then this research will help you prepare your cover letter / executive summary as well as prepare for the interview.
Research also has another benefit. You may be a little nervous before, during and even after the job interview; that’s natural. Knowing the details of the prospective company, especially as it pertains to the job you’re interviewing for, is a great way to prepare and calm those nerves.
Here is a list of things to consider learning about the company and the work:
How long have they been in business?
Are you familiar with their website?
Key business (es)
Key markets
Key products / brands
Key growth areas
Number of employees
Number of offices / locations
Core Values (if they have posted them – if not read their about us)
Company Vision Statement / Mission Statement
Do they have a tagline? What do they mean by it?
Does it host events?
Community Service / Corporate Citizen?
Who are their competitors?
Here is a list of things to consider learning about the job / position:
What interests you most about the position / job?
What skills do you have that meet the requirements?
What skills will you need to learn to meet the requirements?
How is this job similar and different at other companies? Note: At this point this information is important for your overall knowledge but not usually something you would mention in your cover letter or during the interview.
What are key words and acronyms for the position and the company? You will want to use these in your resume and during your job interview.
Ask your network what they know about the organization and if they know any current or past employees you can talk to before your interview. If you are able to speak to someone who does or has worked there, ask them what it’s like to work at the company.
Thank you for reading about how to prepare for a job interview, level 1. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions of this article.
Bruce
Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 2
Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 3
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
How to Prepare for a Job Interview: Level 2
/How to apply… and hopefully get a job interview
Make a great impression from the first time they hear from you. This means your resume and cover letter have to be impressive.
You may not have loads (or any) work experience. That is OK. You are not applying for the CEO’s job (yet). But you still have lots to offer and show them.
You still want to create a polished and well-written resume and cover letter. A one- or two-page resume will be fine. This means you have to pay attention to what resume and cover letter says and how well they read. Sentence structure, punctuation and spelling are important.
For both your resume and cover letter, use key words and acronyms for each job you are applying for and for each company and include them throughout your descriptions of your education and experience… but don’t force it; it has to sound natural and it has to be true. Key words are important to make your background real / relevant for anyone who reads your resume or cover letter. Key words and acronyms will also be important for you to be recognized when the employer or a recruiter they use an Applicant Tracking System (ATS), to screen and prioritize applicants.
Here is how to create a polished and well-written resume.
Include in your resume:
Informal work
Volunteer experience
What leadership opportunities have you been exposed to in clubs or on teams?
What are your academic achievements?
Be sure to reference your technical skills on the first page.
If you have work experience, name the company. Also, be sure to specify what that company did.
What are your hobbies or particular relevant experiences that may make an impression?
Who are your mentors… and have you ever mentored someone else?
What are your values?
What are your goals / vision?
Do not include anything you cannot easily prove or talk about.
Do not include your photo, age, Social Insurance Number (SIN) or Social Security Number (SSN)
Include a one-page cover letter. If it goes beyond four short paragraphs, it is likely too long:
Why you are interested
What you offer (not a resume summary)
Mention you look forward to the opportunity
Three last notes about your resume and cover letter:
Use a font and font size people can easily read
If you are emailing the potential employer (versus using an online submission system), send it from a meaningful and professional email address. JJGParty02@yahoo.ca is not a good email to use, however JeffryJGraham02@gmail.com is. Create on if you don’t already have one.
When you are done, put everything away for a day if you can. Then, when you are rested and can focus, proofread everything. Take your time and pay attention to everything. You do not want to send anything that has a typo or worse, talks about a different job or company you applied to.
Double check the spelling of the name of person you are sending it to. I cannot tell you how many times I receive correspondence with a typo in my name. Not Good!
Double check the spelling of the name of the company.
When You Have An Interview
Prepare Yourself for an In-Person Interview
Expect to be nervous. It’s OK. And any reasonable interviewer will expect you to be somewhat nervous and should try to ease your anxiety. Here are some tips on how to prepare for your interview:
Dress appropriately. Often a bit more conservative than expected is fine. I recommend do not wear anything with a logo… especially a competitor’s logo.
Even if the job and/or the interview will be casual, iron your cloths, shine / clean your shoes and be clean from top to bottom. I remember being on a panel once and the candidate had dirty fingernails. It was disgusting and distracting.
If you may perspire a lot, dress in layers and choose dark colours that will not show.
Have a clean recycle water bottle with you that is easy to open and drink from. The sport bottle you use at the gym is likely not the best choice. Use water, not a carbonated drink that may make you burp.
Do you have a nervous bad habit? Perhaps you use one word over and over? Perhaps you bounce a leg? Maybe you are a pen twirler or clicker. If you are unsure, ask someone who knows you. If they tell you, believe them… and watch for it during your interview.
Be sure you are early. If travelling, give yourself a buffer. I recommend planning on being there at least 30-minutes in advance:
Arriving on time is your responsibility – nobody else’s.
Bring a pen and paper so you can take notes. Make a note of each person on the interview panel. I suggest you write their names in the same order (clockwise) as they are sitting.
Prepare Yourself for a Live Video Interview
It’s important to put as much preparation into a video interview as if you were interviewing in person. Here are twelve things you should prepare or prepare for in advance.
Test your connections and signal strength with a friend or family member in advance.
Days in advance ask what video software they use. Will you have to download it? If so, do it in advance.Zoom, Teams, GoToMeeting, Skype, and Google Hangouts are some of the most common.
Consider updating your software the day earlier. Reboot your device and test.
On the day, close off everything else if you can. Reboot your device.
Check your audio and video work.
Know how to use the interview software.
Have your camera at eye level. Seriously! Nobody needs to stare at your chin or your ceiling.
Check your lighting – make sure you are in a well-lite room. Your face needs to be seen and should not have a big shadow on one side. If it does it means your lighting is not great and you should fix this.
Check your background. It should be professional and uncluttered. Remove items that may distract the interviewers. Use a blank wall or pin up a curtain or sheet if you have to.
Remove things that will distract you or them as best you can (people, pets), or find sitters who can watch them.
Be fully dressed – even if you think they will only see your top part. Accidents happen, and this is not a time to be caught with no pants on. Besides, being fully dressed will make you feel more prepared and take a worry off your mind.
Arrive early – just like you would in-person. This lets you check your connection again and potentially fix any issues that may come up. This also shows you think ahead and plan for the unexpected.
Prove To The Interview Panel You Take This Seriously And Are Motivated
The people interviewing you will determine in seconds if you take this seriously and want to be considered… or not. If you make them believe you are just going through the motions (for whatever reason), don’t expect a call-back. So, to demonstrate you are serious and motivated:
Don’t be late. Have I said this enough yet?
First impressions matter. I recommend planning on being there at least 30-minutes in advance. If you think there is the slightest chance of being bad traffic plan for 1-hour. If you are late you will never be able to regain that first impression.
If you arrive 30-minutes early like I recommend, don’t go into the office / reception area before 15-minutes.
The interview panel should have copies of your resume, but prepare for them just in case. Show you are a planner and are organized by bringing three copies of your resume for potential interviewers and one copy of the job posting for yourself. Don’t do this if you know they are a paperless organization. Consider putting the job posting on a tablet.
Be Aware of Your Body Language
Body language can say a lot whether you mean to or not. To keep from unintentionally sending unhelpful messages, here are a few tips that generally give others a good impression:
Sit up straight with good posture.
Don’t lean back or on the arm of a chair.
Place both feet on the ground to help avoid slouching.
Don’t get distracted looking out a window.
When someone is asking a question, look at them.
When answering, look at different people, but don’t look like you are on constant scan mode.
If on a video interview call, don’t get distracted looking at yourself (it happens).
What Questions Do You Have For Them?
Asking questions shows you are interested, and you will do research on your own – take initiative. Show your interest:
Prepare three company related questions… but ask only one.
Prepare three job related questions… but ask only one.
Just do not ask questions whose answers you could have found on their website. Instead, ask specific questions. Perhaps expand on an article in the newspaper about their work or their community involvement / corporate giving.
After Your Interview
You are not done after your interview. Here are a few suggestions to keep on making a good impression by following up in a professional and thoughtful way:
At the end of the interview thank the interviewer and each person on the interview panel.
Phone your main contact and thank them in a day or two or (not and), send a thank you email to your main contact and Cc each person on the interview panel. If you don’t have everyone’s email, send it to your main contact only.
Recap how interested you are.
Add an additional personal note – perhaps about one of the questions they asked… or the answer they gave to one of your questions.
Thank you for reading about how to prepare for a job interview, level 2. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions of this article.
Bruce
Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 1
Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 3
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
How to Prepare for a Job Interview: Level 3
/Final preparations for a job interview
Things You Should Focus On During The Interview
The following might seem like a lot to think about during the interview but half of it is common sense and half of it is what your folks have been saying to you all your life… and now you can thank them for it. Don’t worry, you will be fine.
Greet everyone. If you are entering a room do your best to make eye contact with everyone when you say hello.
Sit up straight. Don’t slouch.
Keep your elbows off the table.
Make eye contact but don’t stare at anyone.
Stay Present. Don’t drift when they are asking you a question. Listen to what they are asking – make sure you understand the question.
If you don’t fully understand the question, ask for clarification.
Wait a second before answering just to make sure they have finished speaking.
If you want a few seconds to formulate your response that is OK. Even ask for it.
Focus on answering the question they asked. Don’t answer a totally different question.
Don’t ramble.
Don’t make things up – people will be able to tell. It is a rare thing that someone will have all of the things they ask for. It takes confidence to say, “I don’t know”.They should respect that.
Speak slowly and clearly, enunciate your words.Do your best to speak at a relaxed pace. When people are nervous it’s easy to speak too quickly. Remember to breath.
In most cases, using one word, Yes or No answers is not good.
If you can, answer with stories. Talk to them about your experiences… times when you _____. Telling stories makes your experience more real, more understandable to them and more memorable to them. For example: If they ask about your experience with Excel, instead of telling them you know it well, tell them a story of how you used it to accurately predict inventory needs.
If you see an opportunity, incorporate what you know about the company into the discussion, but don’t force it.
Avoid looking at distractions – like outside windows or people walking in a hall.
At the end of the interview, thank the interviewer for taking the time to interview you.
Other Things to Focus On
It would be nice if the list above was all you needed to think about during your interview. And while they are things you need to do or not do, here are a few additional things going on during the interview you will want to control or know about so they don’t throw you off your game.
Turn your phone off. Don’t turn it down or put it on vibrate, turn it off. If you are expecting your partner to give birth – then tell the panel that is why you have to keep it.
Expect people to make notes as you answer your questions. They may not always be able to make eye contact with you, so move your gaze to someone who you can look at… if that makes you more comfortable.
They may even throw in an uncomfortable question or challenge to see how you manage it. Do you stay calm? Do you look for solutions… or blame?
If shaking hands is OK to do, use a firm handshake. If you need to practice do so.
No cursing.
Address everyone by “Mr.” or “Ms.” unless they tell you otherwise.
Always wait for others to finish speaking. Even pause just to make sure. You do not want to ever talk over your interviewer.
Prepare a reference list in advance. You don’t want to waste time scrambling to get references if you are asked. Check with friends and people you have worked with and/or volunteered with. Ask them in advance to be a reference. If they say OK, add them to your list. For each reference, include a name, title, organization, division or department, telephone number, email address and your relationship / past experience with them.
Practice For The Interview
Why not schedule a mock interview to practice?
There are some questions you can predict… and even if they don’t ask them specifically knowing the information will enable you to insert these positive responses into the questions they do ask.
Sample Interview Questions
You can’t know every question they are going to ask you, but you can guess at some of them. You have to expect some of them to be related to the job description, so you can likely go through that and imagine what you might ask someone. Then, prepare what your answer would be.
Here are ten questions I highly recommend you prepare. Even if they don’t ask them directly, they identify great information about why you would be a great fit and perhaps you can work some of this information into the answers you provide. Take some time before the interview to practice your answers – out loud.
Why do you want this job?
Why are you interested in working for our company?
Tell us about a time you felt most proud of something.
What do you think it takes to be successful in this position?
Tell us about a time you had to say no to someone. How did you handle it?
Describe a difficult situation when you felt stress and/or pressure. How did you handle it?
Would you say you prefer to work alone or with a team?
Why?
What are your greatest strengths?
What are your greatest weaknesses?
What are your future goals?
Create A Reference Guide
A reference guide puts all your important information for an interview in one place. This is great for many reasons and frankly, parts of it can be re-used for different jobs and/or companies you are applying to. And while you don’t want to read from it during the interview (except for perhaps when you read any questions you may have about the company or job), just the presence of it will show your interviewers that you are thoughtful and organized.
So, here are some suggestions for your reference guide:
Use a binder or portfolio that you will feel comfortable bringing with you in a professional setting.
Include what questions do you think they may ask?
Write out your questions and the ten sample interview questions mentioned above. Then, write out your answers.
Have a printed copy of each question and your answers. As I suggested above, bring your reference guide to the interview. You don’t want to read from it, but it will be comforting to have on hand in case you go blank.
Use an interview reference guide to store all of the information we’ve suggested in this article including what are your values, vision and mission.
In this reference guide, have and samples of work you have done, be it photos of projects you have worked on or samples or writing or reports you have drafted.
Double Check Where The Interview Is
I once had a training event and the client only told me the address of the building where the training would be. But the parking lot for the company was two blocks away… which they didn’t tell me. It took me 30 minutes to discover where the parking lot was, get there, purchase a ticket and walk back to the building. Thankfully I schedule a big buffer when I am meeting a new client. So, a few days before the interview call your contact and confirm:
Address including what floor and room.
If you are going to drive, where are you going to park? Will you have to pay for parking? If you do you have to allow for a payment type and allow time to go to the parking meter.
I really recommend contacting someone who knows about the interview. Don’t just call the main reception desk because they may knowingly give you the wrong address / information.
Late Arrival Blunder
Recently a leader I was coaching told me about a candidate they were interviewing for a summer position. She arrived 20 minutes late with no phone call to let them know she would be late. As she sat down, she said she was late because her father drove her to the interview, and he didn’t set enough time for them to get there on time. Would you have considered her for the job?
Thank you for reading about how to prepare for a job interview, level 3. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions of this article.
Bruce
Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 1
Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 2
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
How Leaders Can Use "The Motivation Myth" by Jeff Haden
/For as far back as I can remember I’ve believed you can’t motivate anyone… but you can inspire them (or yourself) to do great things. Motivation however, comes from within.
Jeff Haden’s book “The Motivation Myth” is a whole book dedicated to this idea, and I find it inspiring.
In “The Motivation Myth” Jeff takes us on a deep dive into how to motivate ourselves. Using those same techniques I see a direct line on how leaders can inspire others to achieve greatness.
One of the other great things Jeff does is provide solid reasons why motivation surges often evaporate regardless of our best intentions. And, since Jeff is Inc's most popular columnist, an author, speaker, ghost writer, cyclist, husband and so much more, I trust that if anyone knows about motivation, it is Jeff Haden.
How Leaders Can Use “The Motivation Myth”
Leaders can use the “The Motivation Myth” by embracing Jeff’s basic idea that motivation isn’t satisfying. What Jeff believes is satisfying is when we see the results from our effort and feel a sense of success and accomplishment. This makes total sense to me. So much of what I write about in my leadership articles and speak about when I give presentations and training events is the idea that one of the best things leaders can do to help someone is to learn how to inspire them.
As leaders we need to help others feel proud of what they are doing, learning and accomplishing… and this is easier than most of us imagine.
I believe you and I and all the people around us at work are inspired by only five core desires. This of course assumes we are paid a fair wage and our physical and emotional safety is not an issue. The five desires that inspire employee engagement are:
Competence: To be great at a task by gaining experience and using that experience.
Autonomy: To be trusted so that we have a choice on what we work on, when and how.
Purpose: To know our work is important… that what we are doing has meaning and won’t be wasted.
Impact: To know we are making a difference and whatever happens will be better because of us and our efforts.
Connection: To be part of a ‘Tribe’ as I’m sure author and speaker Seth Godin would say.
As a leader, this short list makes it easy to keep track of how we can inspire anyone, from our employees through to our children and pretty much anyone else we meet.
When people are inspired by what they accomplish, this success as Jeff calls it in “The Motivation Myth” will give them a rush. And because they like that rush they will want to feel that again and again. That is what drives people to do more of the thing that gives them a sense of ‘Competence’ or ‘Autonomy’ or ‘Purpose’ or whatever they crave.
Whatever button (desire) turns them on, be sure to push that button… or those buttons. This is when they will begin to feel sustained motivation!
It is important to note that different people will have a different hierarchy to this list of five desires. So, as a great leader, take time to learn which desires are the most important to each of the people around you. Is it a drive for ‘Competence’ or, do they light up when they know they have had ‘Impact’? One desire isn’t better than the other – they just are. And, as I teach in my training, be prepared for someone’s inspiration desire to change; especially if they have a life-changing event like a wedding, a birth, an illness or perhaps have purchased a new home.
What About Self-Motivation?
Should you ask of yourself “What motivates me? ”Ug. No! Stop asking that question. Instead ask “What inspires me?” and“What makes me happy?”
As we have discussed above, a key message of “The Motivation Myth” is to stop waiting for motivation to hit. Instead, do something that makes you feel proud… feel success. Even if you take one small step, experience how wonderful it feels. Even if it is a bit scary it still feels great right? And, take notice of what you learned about the task and/or about yourself. That is all pretty exciting and that is what gives you the motivation to take another step.
Set yourself a goal and then write out all the steps you can think of that will lead you to that goal. Then, Jeff says ignore the goal. Only focus on the one step in front of you. Put yourself on a path and start experiencing each step. Live in the present, not the future. Feel pride and success as you accomplish that first step… and then move on to the next step on the path.
One last thing. I believe it’s important you expect your path to change over time. You may need to add a step or take a step away. You may need more time or less time. That is OK. Remember, you are likely experiencing new things and meeting new people and learning new skills. That is exciting - inspiring. Embrace that exciting, inspiring feeling. Take pride in your accomplishments. Everything is OK as long as you stay open – stay present and stay curious as you pay attention to your plan. The next thing you know you have accomplished your goal.
Thank you for reading about how leaders can use “The Motivation Myth” by Jeff Haden. It is a great book that explores how high achievers really set themselves up to win. If you have not read it, I recommend you do. I also think it is a great approach leaders can use to inspire their team. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions of this article.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Advice to build an inspiring corporate culture that energizes your corporate strategy.
/Advice to build an inspiring corporate culture that energizes your corporate strategy.
A first step to building an inspiring corporate culture that energizes your corporate strategy (if there ever is a first step), is to be comfortable that corporate culture and corporate strategy are two very different things that enjoy a symbiotic relationship.
Corporate Strategy answers the question, “What do we do?” It offers direction for employees to follow by defining goals and objectives. It is the Vision and Mission of the company. Strategy is tactile and easily measured using accounting tools like Net Income, Return-on-Investment (ROI), Sales Growth and Net-Conversation Rates.
Corporate Culture answers the questions, “How do we do it?” and “Why do we do it?” It encompasses energy and passion, fuelling excitement that employees, clients and suppliers will give to the corporate strategy (and feel from the corporate strategy). Corporate culture defines whether the journey is exciting, gratifying, sustainable and something to be proud of, or a lack of culture (or a negative culture) can make the exact same work discouraging, repetitive and exhausting.
A strong corporate culture rallies people behind the strategy and can quite literally drive exponential success. But, strategy with a mediocre culture will never reach its full potential.
Being Intentional Matters
Having an intentional corporate culture is like being part of a great orchestra with many musicians committed to playing the same music at the same time at the same tempo. Sure, the string section will be playing one aspect of the concert (finance), the wind section will be playing another (production), the horns will be playing another (sales) and the percussion will be playing yet another (marketing), but together they are all excited to bring their best to a shared goal.
When a team have shared commitment and trusted leadership to guide them along the path of vision, mission and values they become high-functioning / high-value and their individual expertise shines. Staying with the example of the orchestra, if the musicians didn’t have a shared goal and a conductor they trust, their efforts would almost always be disorganized with a risk of chaos. Alternatively, working together they can all bring their unique expertise and experience to the project and create beautiful music.
Leadership Responsibility
Supporting the corporate strategy and corporate culture are two of the most important responsibilities of a leader.
As I said earlier, strategy and culture should live in balance – a symbiotic relationship. This balance should guide and align everyone’s actions and decisions whether they are collaborating as a team of 10 people or are working on their own. And while the company will have one overarching culture, great leaders know that within the company many micro-cultures will likely exist. For example, the legal department will likely have a strong sense of policy and structure while the R&D and marketing departments will likely have far more creativity and agility. But even with these differences, all employees should still experience work that is exciting, gratifying, sustainable and something to be proud of.
How you and I experience culture is always changing. Every new person on your team or in your working group will add a bit of their own flavour as they share into your corporate culture. Over time, as your company / industry changes your corporate culture will adjust a bit as well. Every company and every team will have a unique culture; you will never be able to duplicate the culture somewhere else, but that is OK just create a new great culture. So, embrace what you are experiencing but don’t hold on too tightly – expect it to change and let it change.
A word of caution; many companies move the responsibility for corporate culture to their HR team. There are real challenges with this. Sure, HR should be involved as a partner – a member of the team. But, without the unconditional input, collaboration, financial support and implementation commitment of department leaders, real impact within each department and across the organization is not possible. Healthy corporate culture limps along when it becomes only HR’s responsibility at no fault of people in HR.
More About Corporate Culture
Because corporate culture is more elusive, I want to spend more time talking about it.
As I mentioned earlier, when exploring corporate strategy and corporate culture, strategy is what we are most familiar with. Corporate culture is far more abstract and even mysterious within organizations because it is usually a reflection of softer skills like trust, respect, transparency, diversity and inclusion, reward and recognition. But a healthy culture also positively impacts many important processes like how we hire, who we hire, how we treat advancement opportunities and so much more. Aspects of organizational hierarchy, authority and consistency are also culture attributes.
Regardless of how it is built, culture drives engagement and productivity through camaraderie, loyalty, learning, commitment – a willingness to proudly go the extra mile and lend a helping hand at a time of need or crisis. These are always driven by culture and rarely driven by strategy. Culture lives within each of us but because it is more personal it must be nurtured.
Examples of a good corporate culture are high measurable levels of:
Communication
Respect
Recognition
Purpose
Impact
Trust (built upon reliable communication and respect for example)
Morale
Competency
Autonomy (requiring a flexible culture for example)
Motivation / Inspiration
Training / Professional Development
Innovation (requiring a stable and interdependent culture for example)
Transparency
Inclusion
Diversity
Comfortable Workspace (workspace safety is a Hygiene quality)
The question is, how do you get these? How do you drive engagement and productivity by investing in corporate culture?
Every item on the list above (and more) are the result of specific intention… a strategic goal to embrace corporate culture and to build that culture one brick at a time – one step at a time. And it does take time. Some wins will be quick – some not so much.
How To Develop a Healthy Corporate Culture
For widespread corporate success the leadership team have to be 100% onboard. You are likely going to need to adjust virtually every element of your organizational structure; from job descriptions to training and development to performance measurement, HR policies, internal and external communication, new employee on-boarding, workplace flexibility, hierarchy and more. Once the leadership team is on board an organization needs to successfully embrace and develop a corporate culture and include the following steps.
Be an organization that embraces, supports and rewards change. Everyone says they hate change but change you must… and in reality, people hate ambiguity and feeling lost – not change – so communication is critical.
How will you involve everyone in the process, building trust, commitment and accountability?
How will you determine what is working that you want to keep and what needs to change – like using an employee survey?
Develop or refresh / update your vision, mission and goals.
Identify your company values, what they mean and how everyone can represent them. Everyone gets measured by them… even your top salespeople and your COO. Nobody gets a pass.
Share what is expected. Everyone has to know what is expected. From you most recent hire to your longest serving employee to your customers, suppliers and investors. Share the road map of what is changing and why. Be crystal clear about what new behaviour is important and why as well as what past behaviour isn’t and why.
Introduce what your reward and recognition structure will look like in the new culture. How are you going to help employees make the transition and what is available for employees who choose to not make the transition?
How will you be sure you hire the right people? Culture should be one of the first assessment criteria used to screen potential candidates. Will you use methods like Behavioural Event Interview when hiring to remove unconscious bias and support diversity and inclusion?
How will you support your leaders and ambassadors? Everyone looks up to someone. Leaders have to be on board and know how the corporate culture impacts their department so they can support their team. They should also know how the corporate culture impacts the other departments so they recognize how the culture is defined in that space and can align their team accordingly. This step also allows leaders to be able to properly support employees who have official or non-official leadership roles.
One Person Can Make A Difference: You Can Too
If you are a leader please don’t throw up your hands and say, “I’m just one person – my this isn’t on the corporations’ radar. I can’t do anything on my own.” I’m here to confirm you can make a difference. Yes, it will be more difficult and likely not as successful than if the whole company was with you, but I’ve seen whole departments quickly turn a low morale and low productivity team into a high-performing award-winning team when a new leader came in, even though the leadership above didn’t change or did the pay grades or budget or anything else.
Trust, transparency, open dialogue and respect are four of the most powerful culture shifters and when team members see / feel these in action great things begin to happen, which begin to compound / collect and significantly energize the mindsets and motivation of the team.
Conclusion / Recap
Don’t let things get too complicated. Let’s just remember corporate culture and corporate strategy are symbiotic whether we acknowledge corporate culture is there or not. Strategy provides direction by outlining the ‘what’… the companies vision and mission – around them is defined the goals. Culture provides direction by outlining the ‘how’ and ‘why’… guided by the pride and values the company and therefore the employees will stand by, honour and emulate.
Seriously, keep it simple. Great cultures are easy for everyone to describe and everyone to understand no matter if they are an employee, supplier or customer. I usually recommend to clients to keep their values list to 6 words and their mission / vision statements to two sentences each. This clarity helps everyone focus on what matters because it lets people understand the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’… something that Simon Sinek talks about extensively. And because people understand the why they have passion and commitment. This is why research like Deloitte Australia research by Deloitte Australia shows that when financial services companies focused on culture instead of compliance their compliance levels actually improved.
High levels of employee engagement and employee training correlate with closely aligned views of what the cultural characteristics are and how to represent them.
For organizations that are looking to embrace their corporate culture and make it intentional, it will be important to see how structure and reorganization from leadership to discussions to messaging to financial commitment can support the desired culture and vice versa.
Thank you for reading. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Are Generational Differences Important To Study And Discuss?
/Generational differences are real – just like cultural differences are real. In this article we’ll discuss generational differences in the workplace and why discussions about generational differences and generational diversity are important for team success.
What are generational differences? When looking to define generational differences we typically mean differences in experiences, values, beliefs and needs. The answer to the question, “are generational differences important?” depends on how we use the information. If we use it to determine how I will act as an individual or what kind of reward will inspire me, then making assumptions based on what year I was born will likely not do either of us much good. But if we use the information to estimate how a group of consumers in one generation and from one geographic area will respond, we will likely get close to making a good (but not perfect) decision.
This begs the question, “How does labelling employees by generation help or harm employee, team success?”
Overview
Today’s workspaces currently have employees from four generations all holding junior through to senior positions. And of course, each generation brings very different and valuable perspectives, experiences and insights. In addition, on one side of the age spectrum is a large group of young employees who likely are highly educated and are used to a fast-changing world. On the other side of the age spectrum is a large group of older employees with unparalleled experience, institutional knowledge and typically less formal education.
To be clear, I’m not saying Gen Z and Millennial employees don’t have experience, they do; and I’m not saying Gen X and Boomer employees don’t have education because they do. What I’m saying is there are people from four very different generations who all have something unique and very worthwhile to say (and if we know what is good for us and our companies) to be listened to.
Globalization also means we have valued employees (and customers) from many different countries with values, needs and traditions that further add to the complexity and amazing insight of our workspaces. And while I could talk more about cultural differences, for the purpose of this article I’m going to stay with discussions about the importance of generational differences and generational diversity (for the most part).
The diversity and inclusive energy in todays high-functioning workspaces is quite amazing. One of the great trends of the last 10ish years that is adding to this positive energy is that many in the business world are finally seriously focusing on important topics like team development, trust and accountability. Along with the strong focus on diversity and inclusion there is also a heightened refocus on important issues like creativity, equality and accessibility. When we talk about diversity and inclusion in the workplace, we often think of things like race, culture, gender and sexuality. But age is another important aspect within the diversity and inclusion discussion.
For reference, the following are general categories in Canada and the USA. Please note, generational birth ranges do vary from country to country and east to west:
Baby Boomers (born 1946 to 1964)
Generation X (born 1965 to 1980)
Millennials / Generation Y (born 1980 to 1995)
Generation Z (born 1996 to 2010)
Generational Differences Training: Argument For
The simple reality is that there are differences in populations from different generations. For example, some high-level generational differences are as follows:
Boomers grew up in the economic boom following the depression. They had very little in the way of money or possessions and physical labour was the bulk of available work. Hard work and loyalty was part of their basic upbringing. From a career perspective it was generally expected that employees would be loyal to companies and companies would be loyal to their employees. As young adults many Boomers became uncomfortable with the economic structures and began rebelling, wanting a better quality of life.
Generation X often grew up with their mothers returning to work and wanting to have their own career, therefore many grew up in two-income families. Generation X kids were also the first generation to grow up with computers. They were children who watched the Vietnam war unravel on live TV (and in colour). They also experienced corporate America consolidate and lay off their loyal parents and move manufacturing to developing countries. For many of these reasons Generation X lead the charge of wanting greater work-life-balance.
Millennials grew up with most families able to provide for them better that any previous family structure. They had exposure to computers at a young age, video games and diversity like no generation before them. Their parents were known as ‘Helicopter Parents’ giving their children lots of pre-planned activities, positive reinforcement and often less independent freedom. Traditionally Millennials want feedback frequently because that is what their Boomer parents gave them.
Generation Z are often seen as being financially conservative but socially liberal. Why? Because they saw their Millennial brothers, sisters and cousins collect large amounts of debt through education but have fewer job opportunities than expected. Generation Z children traveled widely with their parents and grew up with computers from birth, giving them instant access to information and entertainment. At school, many cultural stereotypes were broken because their schoolmates (and friends), came from many different cultures and backgrounds. At the same time the entertainment they consumed and their family structures often broke many gender based stereotypes.
Now that we’ve explored a few of the generational differences, how might labelling employees by age generation help or harm employee, team and organization success? I believe the #1 greatest benefit from generational differences training is how it helps us understand ‘Why’ certain generations behave the way they do. With an understanding of ‘Why’ we humans are naturally more patient and empathic. Instead of treating everyone the same, great leaders and great companies use discussions about generational differences as opportunities to recognize employees are different and that they can embrace these differences to help their employees, their company and of course their customers to be successful.
This is a big step for companies. Don’t undervalue its importance and how difficult traditional management style is to overcome. Consider, almost all of the 1900’s hard work (and I mean physical labour) translated to success. In this environment money was the primary motivator because with money you could buy what you needed to survive.
Today we know money isn’t the best motivator. As long as we are being paid fairly based on our industry and work, people don’t want to only survive… we want to thrive. This means most employees want to embrace their own definition of work-life-balance. In the last 40+ years a whole new business psychology industry has slowly been emerging that studies and measures the impact of what really motivates and inspires employees. Through that research we finally began seeing the undisputable reality that intrinsic motivation… like pride, purpose and impact is far more effective and longer lasting than extrinsic motivation… like money.
Generational Differences Training: Argument Against
The worst thing we can do is use stereotypes to determine how individuals will act or what individuals need. If we use stereotypes we will undoubtably make mistakes that will stop a company from hiring a great employee or by not rewarding a valued employee as they need to be rewarded and therefore, they quit.
Without doubt employees should be assessed on their unique ability to do a task and rewarded based on their individual abilities, needs and goals. Except at some high-level marketing level, I can’t think of many helpful situations where the generational label would be effective in predicting behviour.
Conclusion
All we have to do is look within our own families, our brothers and sisters who grew up with the values and often in the same households to see we as individuals we want different things and are inspired in different ways. We are both similar and different, and this is an example of why discussions about generational differences and generational diversity are important.
Beyond allowing me and others to generally understand the ‘Why’ of a generation or culture I have to admit, I’ve found that one of the most important benefits generational differences training delivers is in how it helps the teams I’ve worked with discuss – and often be amazed by how diverse people are. Through these discussions participants experience in real-time the insight (often for the first time), that what inspires one person will likely not inspire another person even if they are from the same generation and doing the same work in the same company. I bet some of your coworkers want to buy a house and raise a family while others want to rent a condo on the 30th floor and travel… and I bet some want to own an energy efficient electric car while others dream of a F150 pickup truck. For many of employees, the choices relating to how they live their lives are endless.
We are all individuals with unique training, skill, motivation and ambitions and it is best that instead of making assumptions, we stay curious as to what others value, believe and need. In the end, what is important is that you strive for greater generational diversity and treat everyone with curiosity and respect.
Thank you for reading. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Attention On Results: Teamwork In The Workplace
/To have great teamwork in the workplace where attention is on results, everyone has to trust their leader and each other. With trust, team members feel safe challenging each other (including the ‘leader’), and even disagreeing and challenging each other as they respectfully share each other’s expertise. Working together, individuals will commit to clearly defined goals and measurements of success. In addition, the trust and commitment team members built will allow them to hold each other accountable.
Trust is a wonderful and imperative foundation. Read more about how to build trust at work.
I have to confess, the first time I considered the need to elaborate on the idea of ‘Attention on Results’; this final tier of Patrick Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team, I thought it oddly unnecessary. I thought that if a team was able to accomplish the previous four tiers, why would they have inattention to results. But after further investigation and a look into my past years in corporate banking, I saw it does deserve a dedicated discussion… so here is my take on it.
How Attention On Results Works:
When the whole team is focused on achieving the same goal, team members will feel an energy as they work together and support each other and the project. With this harmony, it’s unlikely to hear statements like “That was Richards job – not mine”, “It’s not my fault” or “Richard isn’t pulling his weight”. Instead, in high-functioning teams, team members support each other and it’s more likely to hear, “How can I help?” or “How can we combine effort to make it more effective?” or “I may have an answer to your problem / set-back”.
Without a shared commitment to the final goal a few things often happen. One of the most frequent is that people like Richard will care more for what makes him look good and put his individual goals and ambitions ahead of the shared goals and the needs of the many. Richard may even focus on an unrelated goal he can take individual credit for, while making hollow gestures of support for the shared strategic goal and attacking / blaming others for the lack of progress. In this case, Richard’s inattention to results pulls the whole team down and puts success at risk.
Alternatively, successful teamwork in the workplace means teammates are committed to the shared strategic goal and watch out for each other. For example, when ‘Bob’ falls behind his sales goals, all salespeople will do their best to exceed their goals to meet the company-wide goal. Or, if the Widget A design team is experiencing a set-back, they trust they can reach out to the Widget B and C teams to collaborate to find a solution. Successful teamwork in the workplace happens when individuals don’t treat themselves as islands, they stay focussed on the big picture. As the Three Musketeers said, “All for one and one for all.”
Individual Work Still Matters:
Attention on results doesn’t mean that individual success doesn’t matter. Shared goals do need everyone to work at their best and achieve their own personal and professional goals.
Interestingly, for those who worry their individual work still matters and that it may not be recognized, in reality individual commitment and excellence may get all team members even more attention and recognition. Consider that working within a high-functioning team on a highly successful project, it’s nearly guaranteed each teammate will:
Get attention (and bragging rights) because they worked on a highly successful project.
Gain valuable experience in areas they would not usually get exposure to as they collaborate and discuss solutions.
Gain a reputation for being excellent at their work.
Develop a reputation of being a great team player.
Because of their team experience they will have a whole network of people who respect them and, in time when that network is looking for great new talent and a referral, they will have their own personal cheerleading section.
What’s Necessary To Have Attention On Results:
I’ve shared previously in this article and others that the only way to have attention on results is for a team to hold themselves and each other accountable and trust each other enough to freely share their individual expertise and experience.
There are many other things a great team leader can do to build this type of commitment. For example,
Keep a focus on the organization values. Every decision should reflect back onto the organization values and by doing that, the values will provide a clear guide on what decisions need to be made.
Once a shared goal is defined and committed to, I recommend creating a team contract; a 1-page overview of the goal, each teams’ or individuals’ responsibilities and how success will be measured. I also recommend this contract include a companywide and project vision statement and mission statement.
Expectations have to be shared, clear, understood and achievable. In addition, it has to be clear how each team member’s results roll up into the team or departments results and how the departments results roll up into the company’s results. Our commitment to results always matters because our work and results must support the level above us.
Leaders and team members should reward only behaviors and actions that contribute to shared results
Commit to frequent meetings everyone agrees (in advance) to attend. Schedule these meetings weeks and/or months (as necessary), ahead to ensure availability. Keep these meetings as short (under 1-hour if possible) and during these meeting have everyone share their commitments and the status of their delivery on their goals. I recommend a status code of each project as Green, Yellow and Red to help make the status easily identifiable. I’ll repeat, these meetings have to be a place of trust and respect where people can bring challenges and not be ridiculed.
Each member knows they are going to be held accountable for their commitment and to support the team through the journey through crisis and unavoidable tasks that could not have been identified at the beginning of the project.
If you are going to have accountability, then you have to also keep your focus on results.
Inattention to Results Conclusion:
A team that is focused on team results will retain good staff, make sacrifices for the good of the team and they will enjoy credit for their team – and then for themselves through the teams success.
Great leaders help every team member feel safe and free to respectfully challenge each other (including the ‘leader’), disagree and perhaps even argue as they share each other’s expertise. Only then, when everyone is working together and holding each other accountable will the project - and each individual thrive.
And that is how you can have attention on results and teamwork in the workplace.
Thank you for reading. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Help Team Members Be Accountable
/It’s no fun following up with others to make sure they are being accountable and doing what they agreed to. The thing is, it is near impossible to force someone to consistently produce top quality results. If their commitment level is average, people will usually do their J.O.B. and not much more. But what if your team members chose to be accountable? I believe two things that make this possible:
We all want to be respected, proud of our work and know our contribution is making a difference.
Most leaders want to be great leaders but have never learned how, and worse they may have unintentionally learned poor leadership skills.
In this article I share opportunities leaders can use to help team members be accountable, feel respected, proud and so much more.
Accountability Overview
One of the most successful ways to help team members be accountable starts with creating a corporate culture people want to belong to. Over the years I have coached many leaders and written extensively on leadership and the value of intrinsic motivators. I’ve seen first-hand that even if your corporate culture is less than ideal, every leader can still create a high-functioning micro-culture of proud employees.
If you’ve followed my writing over the years you know I write extensively on leadership and intrinsic motivators. In studies I’ve ran as well as research by other professionals, the following three intrinsic motivators are at the top of the list and all encourage accountability:
Experiencing pride in our work and sense of accomplishment: Generates feelings of Achievement
Being noticed for our competence, creativity and / or for learning a valuable skill: Generates feelings of Recognition
Having impact and being relevant: Generates feelings of Responsibility / Making a Difference
So, how can we use these three motivators to inspire others and help them be accountable?
The following are six ways to help team members be accountable. As you read through the list consider that as a leader your work is less about being a ‘boss’ and far more about being a ‘coach’. As you move forward, imagine how you can have coaching conversations instead of performance review conversations, even though the topic or subject matter stays the same. Imagine how you can help each person on your team to be the best employee while they also achieve their personal and career goals?
Note: The following six opportunities I'm sharing are very real and very inexpensive motivators that help build a very loyal and very accountable team.
#1. Align people’s passion with their work
This means hire the right people for the right work. Far too often we hire or promote people who are the right people on paper but not the right people for the work. For example, if you are hiring someone for a customer service position, be sure they naturally demonstrate empathy as they communicate.
Use a standardized interview assessment process like a BEI (Behavioral Event Interview), to hire people who mesh well with your corporate culture and values and will also naturally feel a sense of pride and achievement from the work they will be doing.
#2. Know what motivates and inspires each employee
We are all unique and want different things. Some young employees may want relevant experiences and training while others may be starting a family and want job security and workplace flexibility. Some more senior employees may want more strategic responsibility while others may aspire to take on a mentoring role. The simple fact is that if we want to have great impact we shouldn’t treat or reward everyone the same way.
Of all the employees I’ve met, there is one common denominator; they want to work for an employer and a leader who respects them and who helps them be proud of what they accomplish.
#3. Be clear with expectations
Give employees a chance to discuss, influence and set their goals. By sharing what you expect and making them part of the discussion you are allowing them to take responsibility and accountability for their work. For example, perhaps they need additional training, or your support to get access to specific company resources; this allows the company to support them as much as they will support the company.
Be clear that when they want to talk through a problem with you that they should also bring a solution to discuss, and this should happen as soon as possible. When employees clearly know what the expectations, timelines and measurements of success are, surprises can be eliminated, their accountability can increase, and overall frustration can decrease.
After you have set expectations, continue to spend time with them at regular intervals to make sure you are both on the same page (see #5).
#4. Help employees understand the question ‘Why’?
When people know why their work is important, they are likely to be more accountable for getting it done on time and as expected. And, at a team level they will be more inclined to hold each other accountable.
For example, when someone knows the recommendations you asked for are going into the proposal for the CEO and that is why you need it on Monday, 99.9% of employees are going to be proud of who will be reading their work and will want to make sure you get it on time and with the detail you discussed.
This helps engage intrinsic goals like having influence and making a difference.
#5. Stay in touch
You may have information that will help them course correct toward their goals. At the same time they need to know you are there to provide guidance and to trust you will help them with (not blame them for), any challenges they may be having.
I used to have a boss that would keep information to himself. This made it impossible for the team to support the strategy which made our work less effective, created more waste and of course we were all very frustrated. Note: He also had a high employee turnover rate… and you can imagine why.
Often, knowing you are counting on them and you are there to support them will often help your team meet and even exceed your expectations.
#6. Recognize and celebrate their creativity and success
When your team deliver high quality work take a moment and recognize it - praise them immediately. During your check-ins make sure you are praising them for their good work. Recognition is one of the most important promoters of accountability for not only the project they are working on but their overall outlook such as being motivated to help their coworkers and add value in meetings which will even feed into their next project.
You can never be too busy to make sure people feel proud just like you can never be too busy to hold people accountable. When you see behaviour that is (or is not) in-line with expectations you have to respond immediately. Any delay diminishes the reward or adds to the damage being done… and damage to everyone’s motivation who is watching.
Conclusion:
Leaders have to look at accountability, motivation and reward in a different way than business traditionally has. And while change may be difficult at first, the beauty is that being able to help team members be accountable is like rolling a snowball down a hill. As trust and understanding build momentum quickly takes over and accountability has greater impact. As time goes by, employees also begin to hold themselves (and each other) accountable.
Note: Firing someone is not what I mean as holding people accountable; rather, helping Richard correct before the situation gets so bad you have to fire him is. As a leader you have to be ready, willing and able to quickly have respectful but difficult conversations. One example I have used in other articles is that if you ever find yourself or other people on your team say things like.
BONUS I: Why employees don't take responsibility / accountability:
I asked my friends and professional network why they thought employees don’t take responsibility / accountability. Here is the list we came up with. A big thanks to all of them… we are all better when we work together.
They don't know it's their responsibility.
They haven’t been held accountable in the past.
Transparency is low so they have a poor understanding of organizational goals and priorities.
They don't know 'Why?' a specific piece of work is important.
They don’t feel included or empowered to contribute their expertise.
They don’t feel part of the team… or important.
It isn't their job. They don’t see how the work relates to them.
If they are being asked to assist others they are never thanked… or given assistance when they need it.
They are unsure of expectations – unsure of what their boss wants.
They don't know how – they’ve not been trained (and perhaps not empowered).
They are treated differently (poorly) than their peers.
Their leader always reworks their work.
Their leader takes the all the glory and credit, but blames you and the team for mistakes or errors.
Their work is often ignored by their boss.
Their leader doesn't try to fix uncomfortable situations like when other employees consistently do not ‘pull their weight’
They never hear "you did well" or “thank you” or “great idea”.
They are frequently asked to work extra hours for their boss and/or company but made to feel guilty when they need time off.
They have far too much work for anyone to expect to handle… and more work unceremoniously added on.
Everything is treated like a crisis.
They are disheartened – they’ve been let down / unsupported by their boss and/or the company in the past.
Their leader is paralyzed with fear of making a decision or of looking like they are not ‘all knowing’ so make no decisions and don’t ask their team for their expertise or experience.
BONUS II: Hypothetical at-home example that accountability can’t be forced… especially accountability connected to quality:
Assume you are a parent of a teenager… or remember back to when you were one.
To earn their allowance one of your teenagers has agreed to fill and empty the dishwasher. Even though they also have a need for dishes (they do eat), they feel no pride in the job. They don’t like cooking, they don’t like mess and touching the wet, dirty, greasy dishes makes them want to immediately shower afterward. The result is they almost always have to be reminded and emptying the dishwasher often gets done last minute and increases everyone’s frustration.
You know that reminding them “It’s your job” followed by the silent intention of [and you get paid to do it] doesn’t make things better and is easily interpreted as a lightly veiled threat. And because their frustration is growing, when they do empty the dishwasher they don’t check to see if the dishes are clean (because cleaning the dishes isn’t their J.O.B.) which means from time to time you find knives with peanut butter residue and other dirty dishes.
The result is things just keep going from bad to worse. In the end they are going to quit, or you are going to take over – ultimately firing them. No matter how you look at this nothing good is coming from treating this task as a job and trying to force accountability. As I shared in #1 above, it seems you hired the wrong person for this task… and they will never feel this work is making an important difference.
Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about how you can help team members be accountable.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
How To Build Employee Commitment
/Employee commitment is one of the most important qualities leaders can cultivate with their team; it is a powerful asset - a multiplier of productivity, creativity and loyalty. The beauty is that people like you and me like to commit; committing makes us feel part of something important. But we will not commit if we feel we are being neglected, taken advantage of, abused, excluded, under-appreciated or lied to (I’m sure you can think of others to add to this list).
What Do I Mean By Commitment?
Commitment is built when people add their voice to a conversation or brainstorming meeting and their voice is respected and considered. Even if their idea didn’t make it into the final decision, because their voice was respected and valued during the process, they begin to fully invest in the decision the team made. This is an example of a strong corporate culture and how trust and healthy conflict lead to building employee commitment at work.
Studies prove there is a direct and measurable link between commitment and employee performance factors like transparency, creativity, productivity, work quality and turnover. For example, when employee commitment is high, turnover is almost always low while transparency, creativity, productivity and quality of work are high. When employee commitment is low, turnover is almost always high while most other measurement criteria are low.
Not surprising, without commitment the success of every project is in jeopardy. Because commitment is critical to success, it is important leaders cultivate commitment and know how to inspire the employees they support. Traditionally, companies focused on job security and money as primary motivators. While that approach may have been great in the 1950’s, it is not a great option with today’s four-generations of highly educated, multicultural employees working within a fast-paced global economy.
Diving Deeper Into How To Build Commitment
Let’s not even bother discussing the myth of job security in today’s economy. And, even though getting paid a fair wage is important, money is no longer a good motivator. Money and the hope of a raise 12 months from now have a poor track record at inspiring most people to do more than what is required to get a ‘meets expectations’ at their next annual review. Even bonuses quickly become expected and turn into what is called a ‘hygiene motivator’ (without it you would not be able to attract new employees and current employees would stop showing up). If you don’t agree, try eliminating bonuses and just watch your employee turnover increase exponentially while performance and employee morale drop like a stone. But all hope of building commitment is not lost, there are far more effective (and virtually free) motivators known as intrinsic motivators.
I introduce the top 10 motivators in my Leadership Training courses, but for the purpose of this article let me share the following top five intrinsic motivators that brilliantly build commitment and workplace excellence:
Being respected and valued at work
Doing interesting and challenging work
Professional development / opportunities
Achieving something / doing something important
Being given greater responsibility
Take a moment to let it sink in that ‘being respected and valued at work’ is frequently rated the #1 motivator to help build employee commitment. This is no surprise because everyone, no matter what work they do or how long they’ve been working want to be respected and valued. You know this is true because I am certain this is one of your key motivators.
Being respected and valued also ties into a basic human need to be ‘seen’ and ‘included’, to have our voices heard. It is our inborn and intrinsic desire to matter; we all want to make a difference. When you think of it, being respected and valued fits perfectly into any organizations plan to improve diversity and inclusion (D&I). Because intrinsic motivators are so important, let’s look at how both leaders and employees can use them to drive personal and professional success:
As a leader I believe one of our most important jobs is to learn - to be curious about which intrinsic motivators inspire each member of our team. Remember, people are individuals and everyone will be motivated by different things at different intensities. One person may be motivated by doing interesting and challenging work while another is motivated by professional development / opportunities.
As an employee I believe one of our most important jobs is to determine which motivators are most important to us and to then share that information with our leader; help our leader (and frankly other members of our team), inspire us. For example, perhaps you want greater responsibility and professional development opportunities because you want your career to grow. If this is you then make sure your leader knows and doesn’t have to guess at what your future ambitions are and how to help you / motivate you because they may think you are content with your position and therefore doing interesting and challenging work will keep you inspired and committed to excellence.
Live The Company Values:
As important as motivation is to cultivate commitment, leaders must also demonstrate integrity. One of the easiest ways I've found to do that is to live the company values. Two of the most important values I’ve discussed in previous articles that demonstrate how a leader can build commitment are:
To trust and be trustworthy (to be dependable)
Show respect (by giving everyone the opportunity to share ideas)
I believe these values (which are part of almost every organizations core value set), have a symbiotic relationship; you either have both or you have neither. For example, if an employee doesn’t trust their leader they will never freely share their ideas.
When it comes to gaining employee commitment to a plan, the best way to do this is to have each person add their unique expertise, education and lived experience to the solution. Employees have to trust each other and their leader to be honest, transparent, and respectful. It means not ever feeling attacked or made fun of when we share our ideas or experience. It also means that if my boss needs to share constructive feedback with me, I am confident I will be respected and can trust their feedback comes from a place of making me, the team, the project and the company better. Note: That feedback should also be timely - delivered as soon as possible within a private conversation.
For me, one other element is needed to cultivate commitment within a team. I have always found it important to create a workspace culture that helps employees learn about each other and from each other. I believe this familiarity reinforces the idea that we all have something to say and something to learn. Many professionals recommend activities that help employees discover what they have in common. I like those - but I also like activities that help employees learn what is different / unique about each other. I believe this helps them understand each other’s unique contribution potential.
When a team knows they can trust their leader and each-other, that is when they will do their best work… and feel proud an energized at the same time.
Conclusion:
Building commitment at work isn’t always easy but it’s a priority of every successful leader that I know. A conscious decision to build employee commitment really does make a difference. I’ve seen mediocre teams transform into high-performing teams in months when they got a new leader… and I’ve seen high-performing teams unravel in weeks when they got a poor leader.
One last observation about commitment (I did not want to scare you above). Commitment has many layers (holding back a reference to the children’s movie Shrek). I believe there are four key places where individuals channel our commitment.
Commitment to ourselves and our work (and our family / friends)
Commitment to our leader
Commitment to our team (or project teams)
Commitment to our company
For the purpose of this article, perhaps you don’t need to focus on these - what I’ve shared above might be the most important for now. But, do keep these four areas in the back of your mind. They may help explain behaviour as you see it unfold.
TRUST Bonus:
To build trust everyone has to understand what behaviour is appropriate and what is not appropriate…. and to be held accountable. For example, Alan Mulally (one of the most successful and celebrated leaders and former CEO of Boeing and Ford) has 11 Working Together Principles and Practices. Four of those are:
Everyone included
Clear performance goals
One plan
Respect, listen, help and appreciate each other
Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about employee commitment at work.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Thank you for stopping by.
Could Fear Of Conflict Be Holding Back Your Team?
/You can have conflict only when you have trust.
When I say, “you can have conflict only when you have trust”, I’m not meaning negative, vindictive, inappropriate, call the lawyers conflict. I mean sharing opposing views, challenging each other’s assumptions, opening your mind and encouraging yourself… and each other to grow conflict.
An essential ingredient of a proud and inclusive workspace is when employees, partners and suppliers don't fear conflict. They know they’re able to freely share each other’s experiences, knowledge and points of view and not worry about being attacked, mocked, ridiculed or worse. It’s exciting and empowering to be part of a team that’s committed to finding the best solution by sharing different ideas and being able to challenge each other’s assumptions, judgements and even beliefs from a place of respect and curiosity. That said, maybe the word ‘conflict’ isn’t the best word to use – it sounds negative; perhaps engagement is a better option. But because conflict is what Patrick Lencioni, founder of the Table Group and author of Five Dysfunctions of a Team calls it, we will stay with conflict for now.
Sharing Opposing Views And Making A Decision Can Get Loud
I think it’s fair to recognize that sharing opposing views and challenging each other’s assumptions can get a little loud (some workspaces, families and cultures embrace loud debate). Personally, I’m better with calm discussion, but if loud is your way then go for it… as long as that’s what everyone expects and they feel safe and respected. I also recommend always being aware of your surroundings for a few reasons. For example:
I urge you to stay aware of socially acceptable boundaries relating to colourful language and/or full-on inappropriate language (read your HR policies). Crossing over the socially acceptable line can cause you trouble even within a trusting relationship. We have to know what’s appropriate and what isn’t.
People won’t share if they feel intimidated by how everyone around them communicates. For example, introverts, new hires, suppliers and meeting guests may not understand what is going on if they are not familiar with your discussion and debate style (this goes for your at-home neighbours and people in the grocery store as well).
Whether we are speaking with someone or writing an email, I believe our primary goal should be sharing whenever we communicate. As a leader, I want to make the distinction that sharing our ideas and experience does not mean you or I have to change each other’s mind or beliefs. What is vital is that all voices are respected and we understand that challenging each other (conflict), is an important step toward collaboration and for us to honour our commitment to find a single clearly defined, measurable choice. When everyone has input, good things happen.
Conflict and Respect Within Difficult Conversations At Work
Hearing and respecting feedback, opinions, and even goals that are different than our own (like not getting a promotion we want) requires Vulnerability Trust. As I shared in a blogpost about trust at work, an example of Vulnerability Trust is when you and I feel safe saying something like “I am sorry, “I don’t know,” or “I made a mistake,” and we know we will still be treated with respect – not embarrassed or attacked.
Within healthy conflict, Vulnerability Trust strengthens our relationships as you and I experience first-hand we will not be attacked or made fool of. Using a workplace example, there is something pretty special when we can listen to our counterparts as they share honest feedback - and know (trust) it is coming from a place of support not malice or revenge. It often takes time to build trust in our team and our ability to have healthy conflict at work; it also requires we watch our triggers and our conscious and unconscious biases… especially concerning challenging news.
The one thing we really want to avoid is holding back constructive feedback because ‘we don’t want to hurt Richards feelings’. If we do hold back, what often happens is that instead of having a discussion we start making excuses, saying things like “It’s just the way Richard is”. If we hang that reputation on Richard without ever confronting him we are likely doing him a disservice that will have long-lasting negative implications on his career. Instead, choose to have a difficult conversation with Richard and respectfully share what you are experiencing / noticing. At that point Richard now has a choice to adjust or not, and what happens next is up to him.
Conclusion
Conflict is an important component within any highly functioning company or relationship. And, as I suggested above it is not meant as a fight or battle… but a commitment for two or more people to respectfully struggle as they discuss, debate, share and learn from each other.
For me, there is nothing quite like having a constructive debate. Using a personal example, in non-Covid times I always enjoyed having a few good friends over and to fall into a lively discussion on some in-the-news topic (usually over a glass or two of scotch). I find this a meaningful reflection of many workspaces because while we are great friends, we all very different in our age, backgrounds and careers. And yes, we have very different and very similar interpretations on things. It is invigorating and I always learn something from each encounter and / or I’m reminded how wonderful it is when someone gives me space – and respect to share my ideas.
So perhaps now that we are at the end of this article, this may be a better time to ask you, “could fear of conflict be holding back your team”?
When we listen we learn, and when we don’t listen we see what we want… not usually what is true or the ideal solution. As my wonderful friend Belinda Jackson recently said to me, “[It’s] always important for a leader to listen and to ask the team if there are ideas they want to share that can make the team stronger. If you want a team, you have to be a team player. Everyone has been in different situations and it is important to share ideas and to be open to hearing them.”
Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about conflict at work.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Thank you for stopping by.
Why Trust Matters and How To Build Trust At Work
/A productive team trusts each other.
Building a successful team takes self-awareness and courage; it also takes empathy, listening and trust.
Trust is when you can depend on something or someone… at least this is the definition I work with. Yes, this is a simple definition, but even so trust is often elusive… especially trust at work.
While doing research for this article I came across the following quote from D. Bowlby that stopped me cold because it's so amazingly relevant to a leader from my past I had to endure.
“If you do not trust your own judgments, actions, and decisions, you will question the motives of others."
Imagine the damage a leader can do to the morale and cohesion of a team when, instead of trusting recommendations as points for discussion, their own ego sees any and all recommendations as threats. In one particular instance I know of, the leader even went so far as to allege unsubstantiated workplace harassment and bullying against members of their senior team. This unfortunately is a real example that lead to months of stress, expense and long-term loss of income for the organization and the many people caught in the leaders loosely cast - ego driven net. Sadly, I am sure this scenario has played out many times in corporations and associations of all sizes.
There are many ways to destroy trust. For example, laughing at an idea or observation a fellow team member has is one of the most efficient ways to destroy trust… and show disrespect. Another is to cast aside recommendations using the age-old and exhausting excuse, “We tried that in the past and it didn’t work.” In my opinion, anyone who has lived through the last 12 months... never mind the last century should know nothing can be taken for granted, there are always lessons to be learned and whatever didn’t work yesterday might very well work today or in the future.
But enough of the negative; lets look at how to build trust on a team.
Patrick Lencioni, author of Five Dysfunctions of a Team and founder of the Table Group describes trust in two ways:
Predictive Trust
Vulnerability Based Trust
The following are my professional reflections of these two types of trust.
Predictive Trust is usually built over time – from experience. My interpretation of Predictive Trust is when I can count on (or predict) what you will say or do in a certain circumstance. For example: If my partner asks, “Do you want ice-cream?” he can trust I will say, “Yes please.”
Vulnerability Based Trust is when you and I feel safe saying something like “I don’t know,” “I made a mistake,” or “I am sorry” and we know we will still be treated with respect – not embarrassed or attacked. Vulnerability Trust means you can be in a meeting and suggest a course of action or idea and you will not fear you may be laughed at or mocked. I believe Vulnerability Trust is more personal – more tender.
Based on the Difficult Conversations training I do with clients, I would say Vulnerability Trust is also where someone can say to me, “You messed up” “You are letting the team down” or “I can’t give you what you want” and I will stay open and keep listening because I trust the other person is sharing information in good faith and likely for my benefit, even if it’s difficult / disappointing for me to hear. Vulnerability Trust is where two people can discuss sensitive topics and even disagree, but stay present and keep doing their best work, moving forward to find solutions instead of assigning blame to setbacks and gaps. It’s when team members can stay in discussion / dialogue without being defensive or shutting down.
How To Develop Productive Trustworthy Teams
To develop productive teams Patrick Lencioni believes leaders must intentionally nurture vulnerability and I 100% agree.
The following are two ways leaders can build trust within their team. Then, at the end of this article I quickly reference 11 more ways to create a safe, trusting workplace culture.
But before I go any further, I want to be perfectly clear that not all leaders have the title ‘leader’. In many big and small ways leadership responsibilities are often shared between co-workers depending on what is needed by the team and the project at that moment.
The quickest way to build vulnerability trust on a team is for the leader to demonstrate it. Otherwise, why would a team trust their leader if the leader never trusted or respected their team / team members? The best leaders quickly acknowledge when they need help and (equally importantly) their mistakes. Trusted leaders don't take control of every situation; they don't pretend they are all-knowing, and they don’t get ‘defensive’ when asked a question or given advice. Team members gain confidence when leaders are honest and respectful and demonstrate its ok to speak up when they have a question and/or an opinion. They start thinking things like “Since my leader is honest and up front with me, I can see it's OK for me to be honest and upfront with them,” and “There are things I can do and things I cannot do, the important thing is to ask each other for help.”
Another way for anyone to build vulnerability trust is to give credit to others. A trustworthy leader will not think twice before saying something like, “I know you have been working on this, and while I think you are doing well it’s a long journey and I do hope you stick with it,” or “I know bringing your concerns to me was not easy and I want to acknowledge that. I’m pleased we can be honest and open.”
Of course vulnerability trust also strengthens relationships between co-workers. The important thing to know is that this works… it really really works!
I’ve worked with leaders who show disconnected individuals how to trust each other, turning them into highly productive and highly loyal teams who have a renewed loyalty to each other and the organization.
I’ve seen great teams disintegrate when a great leader leaves and a weak leader replaces them. Recently leader I admire shared with me that in just over one year his previous team of 20 loyal, hard working professionals (who also found time to laugh with each other), experienced 100% turnover except for one person. Imagine!
11 Ways To Create A Safe, Trusting Workplace Culture
Here are 11 ways leaders and teams create a safe, trusting work culture (yes, some of these mean we have to be vulnerable… but if we are not willing to be, it sends a signal that others cannot be either):
Eliminate disparaging talk and gossip. We have to all feel safe and that we are being open, honest, respectful and respected.
Be transparent and honest about goals, challenges, news. Share ‘What’ and ‘Why’.
Know your preferred work style and strengths and take time to understand and appreciate another's work styles and strengths. Myers Brigs and SuccessFinder are two great tools to use, learn from and share with your team.
Take time to learn about each other but don’t push if people want to be more private than you.
Share your successes and also share your failures - this gives others permission to make mistakes
Admit when you are wrong, make mistakes and readily apologize.
Acknowledge and celebrate the successes of others.
Listen to others and take their advice – help them be proud by giving them credit for their ideas and experience.
Be willing to learn from each other. Leaders especially need to demonstrate they don’t know it all and are willing to learn from their team.
Don’t make assumptions about people’s behaviour or actions – watch your conscious and unconscious biases especially concerning challenging news.
Don’t hold grudges – deal with situations, learn from them and move on – be an example.
While trust is the main topic of this blog post, you may also be interested in a blog I wrote last year called 5 Stages of Team Development.
It takes courage and bravery to build trust… especially vulnerability trust. There will be times you wish you didn’t, but as Brené Brown says, “If you choose courage, you will absolutely know disappointment, setback and even heartbreak. That’s why we call it courage.” But I promise you, trusting yourself and others gives you a unique strength.
BONUS: Trust Helps When Hearing Bad News
We can begin to manage our defence triggers (fight & flight) when we know we are respected, supported and won’t be made a fool of. When we trust we learn to stay present and listen to unpleasant feedback or be part of decisions that, while they go against our personal or professional self-interest, we can still support because we know the decisions are made with honesty and in-line with the agreed upon goals.
Conclusion
While it is possible for great teams to form without a strong leader, the most productive, most loyal teams exist when a strong leader createsa safe, trusting, transparent workspace where team members feel they belong and are treated with dignity and respect. The beauty is, when you have trust you can have conflict. I don’t mean conflict like wars and fighting… I mean discussions, (perhaps even loud passionate discussions), but still discussions that show respect and appreciation.
To end, I want to leave you with this one thought. I wish I could remember where I read it and who to credit; I’m not even sure I am quoting it right, but here it goes, “You can’t trust when you have to sacrifice respectful honesty in order to protect and feed someone ego.” Please, don’t be the person with an ego that others have to protect.
Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about workplace culture, predictive trust and vulnerability trust.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Thank you for stopping by.
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work: Part 1
/Nobody should be bullied, and the excuse of working in a high pressure / critical workspace is no excuse at all. Sadly, bullies of all shapes and sizes are actively throwing chaos, low morale and low productivity into even the calmest of workspaces.
Thank you in advance for wanting to explore this complex topic. This is Part 1 of my 3-part series I continue to explore how employees, leaders and organizations can approach important elements. I have linked to the other two parts of this series at the end of this post.
A bully’s behavior is tolerated at work for many reasons. For example:
The bully appears to be a high-performer and therefore perceived to be valuable. But, while they may be winning big accounts, in addition to being a bully they may be alienating others and/or not sharing recognition. Truth is, the situations they create likely cost the company a fortune due to low morale of other employees as well as lower productivity, creativity and attention to detail. In addition, there is likely higher than average employee turnover and an overall negative impact on suppliers and customers.
Others around the bully may see the bully as a great way for them to ascend to a power or profit position. We see this often in politics, but it happens within the political sphere of business as well. While victims pile up, the enablers who are benefiting keep their heads down and quietly support the bully (or at least allow them to function) while hoping (with no guarantee) that their loyalty will keep them from becoming a victim.
The bully may be well cloaked, passing themselves off as a collaborator, an enlightened non-violent friend-of-all, meanwhile they consistently grab positions of power. As masters of passive aggressiveness and fearful of not being seen as ‘the expert’, their goal is to control situations by putting themselves at the center of every positive decision and far away from any shortcoming. Truth is, once you begin recognizing their behaviour, these bullies are easily spotted since they rarely make quick decisions to novel situations. Instead, they look to form a committee to working group.
What Makes A Bully Become A Bully?
Generally, many professionals who study workplace dynamics and bullies specifically say people are bullies for a few reasons. For example:
The bully craves power. Bullying is a habit that has worked for them in the past to help them get the power they desire. Often these people also feel inadequate (and insecure) and use bullying as a way to compensate and push high-value people away – again helping them look and feel good.
They feel success is a competition; a zero-sum-game and feel they have to always come out on top – as the winner. Because they see things through the lens of “If you win then I lose” or in other words, “If you have a good idea, I look less valuable” they feel threatened by others. This is often apparent for people who apply great value to hierarchy (in any of its many forms). They see others as competition instead of team members and attack them and/or their ideas, trying to tarnish their reputation or confidence.
The bully has suffered themselves, feels insecure and handles that badly. Consciously or unconsciously, they’ve learned over time that putting others down helps them feel better.
The bully is overwhelmed and sees power in knowledge, not leadership. Often this bully is cloaked as the collaborator, they are slow to make decisions, always looking for input from others. They become a bully-thief. When plans are put in place, they position themselves as the hero who orchestrated the solution and presents the final strategy.
Personally, for the last year I’ve been experiencing a particularly nasty combination of both bullying and passive aggressive behaviour from a (so called) leader. Fortunately, I was able to disconnect with relative ease – but the impact is still great. Even though I’ve distanced myself 100%... and if feels so good to get away, I’m also learning there is a long list of people who came before. And worse of all, there are many people who can’t get away so easily.
As I reflect on my own experience of being bullied I have to admit that even with all of my experience as a leader in a corporate world… even with all of the research I have done in relation to generational differences, communication, leadership and diversity, I did not see this one coming. In retrospect I realize I made excuses for the bully… excuses like:
They really didn’t mean it
I was misinterpreting their behaviour
They were on a steep learning curve
They were experiencing unprecedented situations (Covid-19)
They wanted my support as a coach so I should try harder and give them more opportunity.
Turns out, only #4 was true. They did mean it, I wasn’t misinterpreting their behaviour, they had no interest in learning or changing their approach and my support only tapped their insecurities even more – I assume because would have to admit they were not all knowing and all seeing (and no leader is).
What Happens When We Are Bullied?
Bullies are commonly found in leadership positions or some other position of authority. This often makes it difficult for victims and potential victims to get support; this is one reason people often stay silent when they feel they’ve been bullied. Unfortunately, this often empowers and emboldens the bully.
When we are bullied, victims feel increasing levels of stress, anxiety, fear, depression, high blood pressure, insecurity and often lower self-worth, especially when they stay silent. Even if victims quit their job to get away, victims usually carry their feelings of lower self-worth forward for years to come.
My personal experience is just another reminder that the best leader is the one who supports their team to share their expertise – not the one who is jealous of it or intimidated by it.
Either way – being bullied – or being a bully isn’t cool.
Conclusion:
Please continue exploring this topic in any and all ways possible. In my three articles I cover just the beginning of an important topic with many variabilities.
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 2: Explores Education And Setting Up Support Systems
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 3: Explores Bullying versus Performance Management
If you feel you want to talk to someone about an experience you’ve had or are having, don’t wait… there are many services where friendly and well-trained people are on hand. Just search online for something like ‘bullied conversation line’ and you will find many options. If your situation is not urgent and you believe I can help, please send me an email at bruce@brucemayhewconsulting.com
Thank you for reading.
Bruce
PERSONAL NOTE OF GRATITUDE: Thank you to the wonderful people who added to this article by discussing their experiences with me and making suggestions. You are some of the strongest - most courageous people I know. I am honoured to know you and you make the world around you a better place.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Thank you for stopping by.
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work: Part 2
/Nobody should be bullied at work and this is Part 2 of my 3-part series I continue to explore how employees, leaders and organizations can approach important elements. I have linked to the other two parts of this series at the end of this post.
Thank you in advance for wanting to explore this complex topic.
As mentioned in Section I of this article, the situations bullies create cost the company a fortune due to low morale, low productivity and creativity as well as higher turnover. And, no matter what the cause, lower workplace satisfaction always has a long-term negative impact on customer satisfaction. Studies consistently show that great places to work often outperform average organizations. Glassdoor studies show on average, stocks of companies rated as ‘Best Places To Work’ earned 20.3 percent per year between 2009 and 2019, compared to 12.9 percent for the S&P 500. https://www.glassdoor.com/research/stock-returns-bptw-2020/
An Organization Must Be Proactive To Stand Against Bullying
We all hope we will be the exception and never have to deal with a bullying situation on our team. I hate to break it to you some day you will – and you will be lucky if it only happens once through your career. But careers are long and bullies are everywhere.
Education for everyone is the best first line of defence and it will support all other important initiatives you should take. As my dad would say, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” and in this situation he is right at both the organization level and team level.
1. Bullying Education
Don’t wait to see bullying to begin arranging anti-bullying education. There are as many nuances to bullying as there are colours, and what feels like bullying to one person can be completely acceptable to someone else.
Use education to make everyone aware of the signs of bullying. A thoughtful education plan makes sure everyone has a similar understanding of what bullying is. It also outlines the support resources that are available for themselves or for others if they feel they are watching someone else getting bullied.
Education begins to empower victims to take action and learn how address an issue. It also has the potential to disrupt issues early before they become big. And while I say this, I also have to point out three things:
Everyone must participate in education and participate in the exploration of what it is like to be a bully and what it is like to be bullied. It assumes everyone approach this topic with curiosity.
To have impact on someone who is a bully (or a potential bully), if education is going to help, the individual must also be self-aware. They have to realize they are responsible for their behaviour and for how they are seen by others. This won’t always happen and will often require a more direct approach.
Thirdly, help a bully (or potential bully), they have to want to not be one.
Note: Consider including this education within discussions about Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) to even further empower your team and balance your workspaces. Education should also be part of all on-boarding programs.
As part of the education program I believe it’s important to discuss how and why situations that may trigger one person may not trigger another. Different people have different communication styles resulting in one person’s actions being interpreted as aggressive. In this case, education is beneficial for both parties. Education also is important to stay open and mindful of others. For example, everyone can learn how and why their actions may evoke unexpected responses in others while at other times they may be unintentionally triggered by others who have a different communication style.
Education helps each of us recognize when we are triggered and to explore why and how we respond. This awareness helps us to have productive conversations early-on about expectations and how we are feeling which often results in building greater trust between individuals and teams.
It’s worth repeating that as everyone learns about what bullying looks like, it provides an opportunity for everyone self-reflect and recognise if our own actions may be perceived as bullying by someone else, even if their intentions are innocent. Two important things here. First, self-reflection isn’t guaranteed. Just because someone participating in this training doesn’t mean he or she recognizes their actions as being bullying or takes responsibility for them. Also, even if they do recognize the impact of their actions, they have to want to not be a bully. Some people will not want to let this go… or even know how to, especially if it has become part of their core personality and they think it has served them well in the past. The thing is, while they may think being a bully has paid off for them, they have way of knowing how successful they could have been if they were not seen as a bully, but instead seen as a supportive leader and honest, trustworthy collaborator.
This approach is important because it teaches everyone that we must all work together, recognizing, celebrating and giving room for each other’s unique individuality. To be clear, this is not a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card. Everyone must learn that they have a responsibility to their reputation and the health of the corporate culture.
2. Include Everyone In Defining, Updating And Reviewing Policies
I like to think of policies not as a ‘What To Do When’ reference but instead as a guideline that can adapt to meet the needs of specific situations. That said, policies should include three steps.
An agreement of how we should all behave and why. This should happen from a legal perspective. It’s also imperative policies consider the values of the organization. This step requires training & numerous discussions for all. This requires the organizations values are clearly defined (which in itself is an inclusive process that easily takes months).
Shared awareness that different people communicate in different ways, manage hierarchy and manage urgency. This includes recognition that how we communicate is both an instinctive and learned behaviour, shaped by many things including our family and cultural experiences / norms: This requires training & numerous discussions for all.
An agreement by all on how to approach conversations respectfully and how / where to escalate conversations in a safe and respectful way for everyone. Difficult conversation training also requires training & numerous discussions for all; the extra benefit is that this training is useful throughout our career.
Everyone should feel they are investing in the process; making sure it is understood and both safe to discuss situations in private with someone and an easy-to-follow process.
3. Set Up Allies For Victims: Different Avenues For Escalation / Discussion
Leadership will attract behaviour that is identified as bully behaviour. Leadership will also attract behaviour that is perceived as bullying, but it is not… it’s Performance Management (more on this below). But bully behaviour is not isolated at the leadership level; it’s estimated that close to 40% of incidence happen by peers or lower-level employees… and sometimes by customers or suppliers.
Because a leader may be the bully or the perceived bully, it may be impossible or uncomfortable for an employee to directly approach their leader. It’s therefore important there are trained individuals who can be the first line of discussion and potential escalation for people feeling bullied. At times, these individuals can be employees intentionally chosen from different levels of the organization. But, support outside of the organization is also a healthy idea, especially for smaller organizations.
These ‘Allies’ should have training that helps them recognize potential bully behaviour so they can be an impartial sounding board and emotional support. With that knowledge, these persons can begin to safely, confidentially and impartially guide the individual about the initial steps of discussion and escalation which may include coordinating with an internal or external professional who specializes in workplace investigation and mediation.
It is important that when a complaint is made, both the victim and the alleged bully deserve an impartial, confidential, objective investigation. In no way should a reprimand or behaviour coaching take place before this impartial step is completed.
The best resolutions to a confirmed bullying situation can be simple or complex. In some cases, the bully may not have noticed they are behaving badly – they may be acting exactly how they were raised – therefore demonstrating learned behaviour. On the other hand, a bully may know exactly what they are doing. Either way, they do need to recognize they are responsible for their behaviour and that their behaviour has to align with organizational values and policies. They also have to want to change.
A constructive solution will in all likelihood include sensitivity and possibly policy training for the bully. A solution will also likely require emotional support and professional coaching for all parties impacted – including those rightfully or wrongly accused. If training, arbitration and counselling doesn’t resolve a confirmed case, zero-tolerance must be the next step forward for the health and safety of all involved.
Conclusion:
Please continue exploring this topic in any and all ways possible. In my three articles I cover just the beginning of an important topic with many variabilities.
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 1: Explores What Is And Makes A Bully
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 3: Explores Bullying versus Performance Management
If you feel you want to talk to someone about an experience you’ve had or are having, don’t wait… there are many services where friendly and well-trained people are on hand. Just search online for something like ‘bullied conversation line’ and you will find many options. If your situation is not urgent and you believe I can help, please send me an email at bruce@brucemayhewconsulting.com
Thank you for reading.
Bruce
PERSONAL NOTE OF GRATITUDE: Thank you to the wonderful people who added to this article by discussing their experiences with me and making suggestions. You are some of the strongest - most courageous people I know. I am honoured to know you and you make the world around you a better place.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Thank you for stopping by.
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work: Part 3
/Nobody should be bullied, and the excuse of working in a high pressure / critical workspace is no excuse at all. Sadly, bullies of all shapes and sizes are actively throwing chaos, low morale and low productivity into even the calmest of workspaces.
This is Part 3 of my 3-part series I continue to explore how employees, leaders and organizations can approach important elements; specifically how to approach performance management. I have linked to the other two parts of this series at the end of this post.
Thank you for wanting to explore this complex topic.
Education Is Important
Education must be for everyone; nobody should be excluded. And, because bullying (or the appearance of bullying), is often found in leadership positions, I believe all leaders and potential leaders should take regular and refresher training. This can act as a prevention as well as help leader ‘stay fresh’ to this topic so they are always prepared whether a situation is raised or even if they are going to be having performance management discussions which often can be interpreted as bullying.
Recognize the Difference Between Performance Management Versus Bullying
Staying on top of performance management is more important than ever in today’s fast-paced business world where change is constant, and workforces are more remote.
One of the many key responsibilities of all leaders is performance management and is easily considered one of the fundamental ‘hard skills’ that exist for leaders. And while this is true, it’s important to recognize successful leaders fully engage their soft skills or emotional intelligence when delivering this often-sensitive information. Even opportunities for improvement should be delivered in a way that encourages individual’s and aligns with their personal goals as well as organizations goals. In fact, studies by world-renowned leadership researchers Zenger Folkman have positioned motivation and inspiration as the two most important leadership skills.
Four key purposes of performance management are to focus on:
Competitive advantage for the employee and the organization
Employee engagement and effectiveness
Employee professional development and confidence
Individual and team morale
Approached well performance management improves all aspects of an employee / employer relationship including building greater loyalty. Done poorly, performance management can be interpreted as bullying. Even if apparent bullying is directed to only one person, others will see and by association – experience it, and as this happens, they will also lose trust in the leader and avoid situations where they may become a target.
Consider a situation where an individual is not meeting expectations that have been previously discussed and agreed to. In this situation, two previous performance reviews have clearly and correctly identified performance gaps. These performance reviews have also included discussions to address opportunities for improvement. Because the individual continues to not meet expectations, it’s the leader’s responsibility to increase careful monitoring of performance. This increased attention will hopefully also include discussions about what other supports the employee may need – like additional training and/or coaching. A frequent challenge is the employee in question considers the additional attention a form of bullying.
Consider another situation many of us are experiencing now related to working remotely and the communication challenges we may not realize we are having. Many of us never realized the benefits in-person meetings and how even simple body language unconsciously helped us build trusting relationships and share important information. The potential difficulties and misunderstandings related to performance management communication in our socially distant, remote work-lives has increased exponentially. It’s increasingly common for employees (and leaders) to feel additional stress in this demanding, fast-paced and ever-changing environment and in-turn, interpret the actions of each other as bullying and/or as not being fully transparent.
No matter what the situation, managing expectations is critical by the leader as well as a level of self-awareness on how they may be interpreted. Let me repeat – leaders have to always be thinking about how they are being ‘seen’ via email, video chat and text message more than ever. And my believe that all of this responsibility should not all be hung on a leader’s shoulders. Self-awareness and emotional intelligence should also be expected from employees (and trained if necessary). That said, conversation is almost always the best first step in building a solution in either of these situations. And for this is where Allies discussed in point #3 will can be invaluable.
The Impact of Reverse Bias
One thing to be mindful of is the potential fear of leaders – especially leaders who have previously been wrongly identified as bullies. In these cases, they and the company may actually be suffering long-term consequences. Without the proper support and coaching for them, it’s not unusual for leaders to begin forming an unhealthy reverse bias situation where they fear being unjustly labeled as bullies, and therefore don’t identify performance management situations as they should.
We can all imagine how reverse bias has the potential to have serious negative impact from lowering the company’s ability to reach their strategic goals. If the leader feels unable to provide feedback, support and coaching to one or more employees, this could easily have negative impact the employees personal and professional growth and therefore future experience and potential.
I think we can all agree that as our workspaces become more complex, clear performance management guidelines that are supported and adhered to throughout the organization will be important to protect everyone.
Let’s explore some signs of disrespect / bullying versus performance management.
Disrespect / Bullying:
Intimidating, threatening, or humiliating someone.
Attacking something that can’t be changed:‘It’s a problem because you don’t have an accounting degree…’
Attacking the person not the behaviour or outcome: ‘The problem with you is…’
Being vague: ‘You need to improve your attention to detail…’
Exaggerating:‘You always/never/constantly…’
Intentional Exclusion: When someone intentionally and repeatedly excludes one or more people from a team or group.
Supporting gossip that may undermine a person’s character, trust and/or performance.
Keeping others off-balance. Perhaps changing the rules or goals halfway through a project or not sharing all of the important information (as I write this I recall a Director I had many years ago who did exactly this to the whole team).
Expecting behaviour and skill that has never been discussed or expected in the past.
Rarely (if ever) providing positive reinforcement.
Being passive aggressive and/or making comments targeted at destroying confidence and self-worth.
Gas-lighting using phrases like, ‘You’re overreacting. It wasn’t that bad’, or‘What an imagination – that never happened (or I never said that)’.The goal is to make their victim doubt what they have seen, experienced and/or know is true. More on Gas-lighting here
Alluding to gossip / side-stepping their own responsibility: ‘Everyone thinks you are not pulling your weight’
Losing emotional control: Disrespecting someone and/or their ideas by shouting, belittling, rolling eyes or laughing at them or a suggestion they made.
Physical bullying.
Performance Management:
Actions are objectively sound, consistent for all and documented.
All performance management meetings happen on-schedule to avoid the appearance of a surprise evaluation.
Employees receive clear Performance Standards and Key Performance Indicators, linked to the Performance Description.
Expectations should be in-line and in-scope with the agreed upon job responsibilities.
Performance should be in-line with previously discussed personal and career development.
Expectations and conversations are timely – both ways.
Are the employee’s skills being used in ways you have previously agreed?
Does the employee need any support from their manager in short or long-term?
Is the employee showing non-compliance with policies/procedures?
Is the employee acting inappropriately, being disruptive or demonstrating bad behaviour?
Management offers formal performance improvement plans in line with Performance Standards and Key Performance Indicators.
Management provides adequate support for individuals to reach the agreed standards.
Management must provide formal warnings for breaching policies, noting specifically which behaviours have breached.
Management prepares written minutes of all performance management meetings including formal written warnings when necessary.
Bullying Not Accepted
With all of the preparation we’ve discussed, this last step must be an ongoing step.
When bullying is confirmed it cannot be tolerated by anyone - from the most senior to the most junior… even when it seems to be working to our advantage.
If bullying is permitted that inaction will damage employ morale and trust throughout the organization and result in higher turnover, higher sick-leave, less creativity, lower productivity, more mistakes and waste and the list goes on and on which often quickly impacts customer satisfaction and profitability.
Politics is a good public example of how some individuals within a political party may do everything from passively tolerating bullying to actively encouraging it – all in an effort to maintain power/influence and/or their job. The one thing about situations where bullies are tolerated for this purpose, in all cases I can think of the bully (or bullies) eventually loses their foothold and fall from grace. And it usually doesn’t end there as the reputations of the people who supported the bully are also tarnished or ruined and/or the whole team, political party or company become collateral damage.
Now, this doesn’t mean when someone feels bullied that it has to be dealt in real-time. Depending on the situation and who is around, in-the-moment action might make things worse.
Taking some time to respond when an individual feel bullied also gives them time to explore their experience with a qualified individual as discussed in point #4 (Recognize the Difference Between Performance Management Versus Bullying). In a nutshell, don’t talk behind their back and risk starting the rumour mill because that in itself is a form of bullying. Also, if possible, don’t wait a few months or a year to raise concerns. By pausing and specking in private to qualified people, they may find out it may be one or more instances of miscommunication, or misinterpretation on their part, and by pausing has protected their reputation and perhaps that of others as well.
All of this may sound logical – and it is, however, it is also complicated. While this can be defined within procedures, actually living through this is emotional and sensitive… and therefore difficult. For these reasons transparency and timely actions are both essential components to experiencing great success with few challenges. For these reasons it is also essential that all staff’s expectations are managed, and everyone is trained to be able to recognize all of the nuances of this topic and to especially recognize the differences between performance management and bullying.
Conclusion:
Thank you for reading and exploring this important topic. If you haven’t yet and would like to read my first two articles in this series, here are the direct links.
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 1: Explores What Is And Makes A Bully
Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 2: Explores Education And Setting Up Support Systems
If you feel you want to talk to someone about an experience you’ve had or are having, don’t wait… there are many services where friendly and well-trained people are on hand. Just search online for something like ‘bullied conversation line’ and you will find many options. If your situation is not urgent and you believe I can help, please send me an email at bruce@brucemayhewconsulting.com
I want to finish this series with a quote by Business Author Bob Chapman, “When 88% of the people who have jobs feel like they work for an organization that does not care for them, they do not feel valued. They feel used for someone’s else gain. In business, in politics, in our neighborhoods and communities, people are often not treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.”
If I ever thought leadership was in crisis, that statement stopped me in my tracks. What an opportunity for those who aspire and train to be great leaders - your competition is thin.
Thank you for reading.
Bruce
PERSONAL NOTE OF GRATITUDE: Thank you to the wonderful people who added to this article by discussing their experiences with me and making suggestions. You are some of the strongest - most courageous people I know. I am honoured to know you and you make the world around you a better place.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Thank you for stopping by.
Learn to write smarter and faster; Get more done while protecting your reputation.
/“Copy is not written. Copy is assembled.” – Eugene Schwartz (copywriter).
Because most of the writing you and I do is email, I’m going to adjust Eugene Schwartz’s quote to be, “Great email isn’t written, it is assembled.”
None of us read email for the fun of it. Writing is never our goal – getting our work done is. Whenever we write our goal isn’t achieved until our reader understands what we said and/or does what we asked them to do. Unfortunately there are many obstacles in the way, especially when we write email. One obstacle we often forget is that our readers may not be expecting (or wanting) our message. Another obstacle may be our current reputation; if we have a history of being unclear or rude you can imagine our email are not going to get read quickly.
We fail when the email we write don’t get read, understood or acted upon. But, failure isn’t an option when we are at work. We ‘have’ tobe successful. And, because email is how we communicate 90% of the time, we ‘have’ to write. So, I believe the important question we must all ask is, “As writers, how do we assemble our email so that it cuts through all the other email, priorities and ever-increasing distractions our readers are experiencing?”
In this article I want to give you a fresh approach to writing smarter and faster and getting more done while protecting our reputation in three simple steps.
Assemble Step 1. Be Polite
Say Hello.
Before writing what we need our readers to know or do, just say ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi’.
Saying ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi’ is one of the best ways to grab someone’s attention. It’s also the best way to take the rude, abrupt and bossy feel out of your message. Readers notice (in a good way) when we say ‘Hi’. Why? Because saying ‘Hi’ is polite. If we don’t say ‘Hi’ it’s like storming into their office unannounced. #Rude
The exception I will offer you is that if you are writing with someone 20 times a day or more you can both agree to not do this because it will likely get annoying. But, still do it for your first email of the day.
Assemble Step 2. Don’t Make Writing Complicated
After saying hello, get-to-the-point in your first sentence. We all are busy and we don’t have the time or the interest to become a great novelist like Margaret Atwood or great copywriter like Eugene Schwartz.
To write great email we have to consider what information our reader already knows in our first sentence. Also, what new information might they need? Our readers will start skimming and we will lose their interest if we write about things they already know. You know this is true because you do it when you are bored by someone’s email. And, we will put them at a disadvantage and potentially delay them giving us the information we need if we don’t include the information they need.
Another tip to keep our writing simple is to keep flowery descriptions, complicated jargon and technical terms to a minimum. If we don’t, we are falling into a trap called ‘the curse of knowledge’ says Harvard psychologist, communication specialist and author Steven Pinker which he defines as“a difficulty in imagining what it is like for someone else not to know something that you know”.
Assemble Step 3. Write Sentences With Benefits First
To always get our email read, writers have to break a few habits as we learn to assemble our sentences starting with benefit first.
Look at that last sentence and how I structured it. I have put the ‘why’ first.
I could have written, “Writers have to break a few habits as we learn to write our sentence starting with benefits first in order to keep our readers interest.” While this second sentence generally works, we risk boring our readers with detail before we tell them ‘why’ that detail is important. And, if our readers get bored – they will move on. Unfortunately, most of us were taught in school to put information first and then follow with benefit and action item.
This is one of my favourite tips and it can be used in all your writing - not just email and instant messaging. So, don’t bore your readers; grab their attention and interest quickly. I do want to warn you, even though it sounds easy to do, it will require some practice and paying attention to your structure.
Conclusion:
Every time we write email or instant messages, we are adding or subtracting from our reputation and the reputation of our company. In addition, when our messages are misunderstood, not even read and/or when our tone is interpreted as bossy or angry, the result is that mistakes are made, time is wasted and expenses go up.
The importance of well-written / well-assembled communication is high.
So, before hitting ‘Send’ on your next email, take a moment to ask, “Am I addressing my readers needs and how likely is it that my reader will understand and be able to act on my message?” If your answers to these two questions are‘Yes’ and ‘Very Likely’ then you have done a great job of building a trusting relationship and accomplishing your key goals.
Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
Thank you for stopping by.
Turn Conflict And Difficult Conversations Into Positive Experiences
/Employees are feeling disconnected and with many business engagements now taking place virtually these feelings are increasing and conflict is increasing. But lets take a moment to notice that not all conflict is bad - and look at when it does happen how can we manage it effectively.
I want to acknowledge the word ‘conflict’ has quite a broad definition. For this article I lean towards the definition from dictionary.com “verb: To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition”
With this definition in mind, what do you think of the idea that conflict is not only natural, but that conflict and difficult conversations can be signs of a healthy relationship?
We often think of conflict and difficult conversations as bad; something to avoid. But should we? Sometimes conflict leads to something good. I’m sure we can all remember a moment of conflict that lead to new and exciting opportunities that enriched our lives by challenging us to meet new people and do new things. For example, when I worked in banking, I can remember a promotion I didn’t get (and yes, I was disappointed and disagreed with my bosses decision), but that loss motivated me to explore even greater – challenging opportunities I couldn’t have imagined. Instead of shutting me down for the rest of my career, it activated me. What I once considered as terrible news and negative conflict, I now describe as good a positive experience because it helped me change in ways I am very proud of.
Changing Our Approach:
What if we began thinking of conflict as an opportunity for two people to explore each others opposing viewpoints or expectations versus ‘a need to win a fight or prolonged battle’? What if we started thinking of conflict and difficult conversations as being something that can be a force of good that can challenge us (perhaps both of us), to become better individuals?
This is what I would like to discuss. So, lets explore how can we turn conflict and difficult conversations into positive experiences.
Start With Connection:
Whether we are delivering or receiving challenging news, start with honoring our connection and our relationship with the other person. Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I shouldn’t respect you. But, if I let our difference of opinion shut down my ability to connect with you and discuss / learn from you then we both lose before we even begin.
We may be an introvert or extrovert, but either way we all thrive for some level of connection; it is how we are wired – humans want to be connected. So, whenever you have a conversation, especially a difficult conversation, I encourage you to be sure to talk with your heart – tap into your empathy. Be aware of:
What are you feeling?
What do you feel they are feeling?
What are you needing?
What are they needing?
Safety and respect are two of our strongest needs. So, if you are going to tell someone they didn’t get the promotion, instead of thinking to yourself “I’m going to have a bad morning. I have to tell Joe he didn’t get the promotion,” start with the approach“I want to make sure Joe feels safe in my presence and respected by me and the company.”
Whether we are giving or getting bad news, when you and I feel safe we are more likely to stay calm and think through difficult situations. Making a connection helps us stay present and be able to discuss options. You and I also know that when the body feels fear it goes into protection mode – fight or flight. This means biology starts taking over as we feel the rush of adrenaline. When the body doesn’t feel safe it’s a bad time to try to have a difficult conversation – our body is looking to protect us and to deal with the fear verses think logically through a situation.
To have a difficult conversation make sure everyone feels safe. If you both are working in an office, choose a private space where the other person won’t feel vulnerable and both of you can speak clearly without interruption or distraction. If working remotely, do the same. Another good option to help people feel safe is to consider your timing. For example, share difficult news early in the day when everyone is less likely to be physically and emotionally exhausted from their day.
Practice Your First Sentence:
Using the example above, the idea is to continue making sure Joe feels safe and respected and to try to reinforce your connection.
Empathy is important here. One recommendation I have is that it is OK to talk about emotion but don’t be emotional (i.e.: stay calm, don’t raise your voice).
A good first sentence might sound something like the following: “Joe, I’m sorry I have to share you didn’t get the job. I can see that this is disappointing.” You may want to pause here and see what Joe has to say. Alternatively, you can continue with something like, “Joe, while we didn’t think this was the best fit for you, I want to reinforce you are a valuable member of the team and I am glad you chose to put your name forward. It shows us you want more for yourself with the company. What I would like to do is now or later this week (if you would choose to do it later), is for us to look closer at your goals for the future and how I can support you.”
Sure, Joe is still going to be disappointed. But, he is also likely going to feel safe, respected and supported. And, you should expect that Joe is still going to want to talk about why he didn’t get the promotion, but he is more likely to be open to the news and future possibilities with this more supportive approach.
The most important thing you must do is ‘be authentic’. As I suggested earlier, don’t make this about you or the company. The wrong approach is saying something like, “I have to tell you and two other candidates you didn’t get the job. This is the worst part of my job and I am sorry I have to do this. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I feel so bad and if I could give you all the promotion I would, but I can’t.”
If Joe does get emotional because adrenaline kicked in, stay present and listen. If you stay calm it is likely Joe will calm down quickly… but if he doesn’t, take a break, invite Joe to stay in the room as you go get both of you a glass of water. If you need to take a break for a day or two, be sure to come back to the conversation. Stay open to what the other person is going through.
Conclusion:
Feelings of conflict mean that something is important to you and to others. If we didn’t care it would not be conflict or a difficult conversation. Let’s remember:
One of the best things we can know is to know we are being heard.
When people feel they are being heard they are going to be more open to compromise – or understanding. They will be more open to understanding ‘why’.
Lastly, we can do our best to set the stage for success, but in the end, we can only control ourselves. If the other person isn’t ready to have a difficult conversation, then there is nothing we can do – if we are trying to be kind and they only see hostility it is OK to know we are trying to do our best and that they may just need some time. Sometimes the best solution is to mindfully step away and return to the conversation a day or two later. Let’s just stay focused on what each of our goals are and what each of our needs are.
Life is messy. Let’s stay open and embrace it all.
Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed exploring how to turn conflict and difficult conversations into positive experiences.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.
As a Corporate Trainer Bruce Mayhew (of BMC) specialize in customized Time Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
What Should We Do When We Feel A Lack Of Respect For Someone?
/Respect is an interesting, complicated thing, and it’s not one size fits all. The point I want to make is that very often we see respect as an absolute. We get caught up in the idea that, “If you don’t respect my idea or my work then you don’t respect me,” and that really doesn’t have to be the case at all… as I described in the four examples below.
Examples: we can:
Respect the person as a human, but not respect their authority or their suggestion or their idea.
Respect the company, but not the person we are engaging with from the company.
Respect how a person is trying to help us, but not the company.
Respect a person’s authority, but not their goals or tactics they use to achieve those goals.
And I’m sure you and I could easily continue adding to this list of examples if we were brainstorming examples.
So what should we do when we feel a lack of respect for someone?
The answer is both simple and complex. It’s so complex there are whole books written and specialists dedicated to only this topic. But let me give you a few steps to get the conversation moving in the right direction. This approach is often the starting point I use when I work with leaders to help them solve a respect challenge with their team or in their company.
Firstly, at the very least we should acknowledge we should be able to show a person respect as a human even if we don’t respect their achievements (or lack of), goals (or lack of), or values (or lack of).
Secondly, we should take a moment to consider where our feelings of respect and lack-of-respect are coming from. Looking inwardly to what we are feeling is always a good starting point in any and every situation including this one. What are we respecting and why (hopefully there is something)? What are we not respecting and why? Do we have an internal, learned bias that is getting in our own way? Might they have an internal, learned bias that is getting in their way?
This is a great exercise to go through (by yourself) for everyone in your inner circle. Take the time to point out what you do and don’t respect / appreciate / admire for those closest to you. It helps especially if find you are feeling negatively triggered by someone because it will help you control (be mindful of) your response.
Thirdly, is our lack of respect creating a barrier between us that is making the situation worse? It’s important to note that this is often the case. You know that when you feel negative energy from someone your own defences usually go up; which in turn often gets reflected back to them as negative energy from you. It is an unfortunate and vicious circle. It’s important to note at this point that whenever respect falters so does trust. When we don’t trust each other everything usually is much more difficult and take much longer. This in turn usually translates to being more expensive and less effective.
Lastly, having reflected on what and why we are feeling as well as what biases we are (or they may be) feeling, how might we be able to build respect and trust within this situation? Generally, there are two areas we can work on and they are:
What We Can Make Sure We Are Doing
What We Can Make Sure We Are Not Doing
Lets explore these two areas.
What We Can Make Sure We Are Doing
Whether we are a leader of a team or an equal member of a team, we can all take a leadership role and set an example through our own behaviour. So, even if we are not feeling respect we can strive to build it with others. To build respect with one or more people we can all practice the following:
Smile and say hello when we pass in the hall
Listen mindfully / with all of our attention in a meeting or conversation
Treat everyone equally
Encourage everyone to be their true, whole self and bring all of their experiences, education and perspective to every engagement
Be transparent with goals and tactics
Give people credit for their ideas… and use other peoples ideas (it can’t be ‘my way or the highway’)
Have a safe environment where people can make mistakes… and learn from those mistakes
Imagine what it’s like to be in someone elses shoes (display empathy)
Everyone can disagree and of course, still be civil and not feel threatened
I encourage you to add to this list because it is far from exhaustive.
The amazing thing is that people who feel respected are not only trusted and more creative, they are:
92% more focused
55% more engaged
61% more likely to embrace change
56% healthier (fewer sick days)
Over 100% more loyal (far less turnover)
Simply put, there are no downsides to having respectful relationships.
What We Can Make Sure We Are Not Doing
Again, whether we are a leader of a team or an equal part of a team, we can all take a leadership role and set an example through our own behaviour. So, how can we begin to build respectful, trusting relationships? The idea is to explore how to build relationships where everyone has an open, safe space where everyone can share ideas by not:
Mocking someone – publicly or privately
Teasing
Telling offensive jokes
Letting someone finish a sentence
Taking credit for someone else’s work
Texting in meetings
Making inappropriate advances
Putting up silos instead of being transparent
Always saying ‘No’ when asked to do something
As I said earlier, I encourage you to add to this list because it is far from exhaustive. But even better, do this with someone else or with your team. Have this and keep this as an open dialogue where you have open and safe dialogues.
If you have a challenging situation and are working to make it better, give it time. Conversations will help and are a sign of a healthy environment. You won’t be perfect at first, and neither will other people. And I dare say you will always make mistakes along the way. The solution isn’t to be perfect, the solution is to be aware of your actions and humble enough that you are able to help others have the confidence to talk with you about challenges or feelings they are having so they can be worked on early.
As I said at the beginning, respect is a simple and yet complex thing. It never happens when there is an environment of secrecy and where people can’t speak freely. As respect begins to grow it is like a seed planted, it will require care and attention and it will grow - seemingly slowly at first but before you know it, you will have a healthy, wonderful space filled with respect… and trust.
Thank you for reading.
Bruce
About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.
Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.
As a Corporate Trainer Bruce Mayhew (of BMC) specialize in customized Time Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.
BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.
Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.
