Being talked over impacts women most often. And yes, it does happen to everyone, but as research shows (see below), women are often interrupted at disproportionate rates. And while this is both rude and disrespectful, it’s also quietly costing your team its best ideas.
There’s something happening in our boardrooms, offices and trade floors that shouldn’t be. People are being talked over when they speak, and women, more often than men, are the ones it happens to.
Sometimes being interrupted is intentional and a sign of dominance. But not always. It may be the result of social conditioning built up over years… and maybe generations. It also may be poor, unstructured meeting design and unclear expectations. Whatever the reason (or reasons), it often lands the same. To the person being interrupted and everyone watching, it can feel like the interrupter is saying: my idea matters more than yours — or worse, you don’t matter at all.
What the research says
A 2017 study of U.S. Supreme Court oral arguments, published in the Virginia Law Review, found that women justices were interrupted at disproportionate rates by their male colleagues and by male advocates. One of its authors, Tonja Jacobi, has put it at about three times as often. If it happens at the highest court in the country, what’s happening in your meeting room?
Why attention to this matters
Even when the interruption isn’t a power play and the person is simply excited about their idea, it shows a lack of respect for the person speaking, for everyone else in the room, and for the culture of the organization.
And of course, when anyone is silenced or talked over, good ideas get lost, decisions get worse, and people stop contributing. That’s a performance problem every leader should care about that may also be… or quickly become a loyalty problem.
It can happen to anyone
I’ve focused on women because the research does. But being talked over happens to everyone:
- Racialized people and other underrepresented groups.
- Junior employees, who often stop mid-sentence when a more senior colleague jumps in.
- Remote participants, who are easy to talk over on a video call or to forget entirely.
- Quieter, more reflective people, who may need a moment to reflect to gather a thought.
- Men, who get talked over too, and deserve the same respect.
Unfortunately, the fix will often need multiple difficult conversations, but the payoff of a team where the best ideas surface, not just the loudest or most senior is important.
What leaders can do
Set the standard. Build a safe, transparent and collaborative culture by making it clear that everyone is listened to and every idea gets weighed. Agree on a simple ground rule with your team: we don’t speak over each other.
What we can all do
We need to understand our own biases and notice when we’re the ones doing it. This isn’t about blame. We all get excited when we have a great idea, a similar experience, or a brilliant solution to offer. But self-awareness and self-control protect and build our own career success. It’s about learning, evolving, and becoming a better version of ourselves: someone seen as respectful, collaborative, and trustworthy.
Be an advocate
One of the most powerful moves is to speak up for whoever gets cut off. For example, men can be advocates for women, women for other women, and both for men. When a third person steps in, it gives everyone permission to support the speaker’s ideas, today, and in the future. Advocating also teaches the room that interrupting isn’t how you take control.
When standing up for someone else, keep it simple and warm. For example:
- “Hold on, John. I’d like to hear the rest of what Mary was saying.”
- “Before we move on, I want to go back to what Sam said from the video call.”
- “I want to return to the point Shaida raised earlier.” (Attributing ideas reinforces credit.)
If it’s happening to you
This is never a feel-good moment, and none of this is your responsibility to fix. But you do have a say in how people treat you, and these moves can help in the moment. I’ll call the interrupter John in the examples below, but the same moves work whoever it is.
Like with any difficult conversation, it’s important to respond right away. If you wait, you signal to the interrupter and everyone watching that their opinion outranks yours.
- Don’t stop talking. Finish your thought. Continuing to speak is an assertive way to keep the floor without dominating anyone. People tend to keep listening to the voice that stays steady.
- You already have the floor so resist the urge to raise your voice. Make eye contact and face them squarely. Then, keep the same volume and pace. If anything, slow down.
- Stay steady and use their name. We all respond to our own name. It signals “you’re talking to me,” and it will draw the room’s attention to who is interrupting. Repeat their name if you need to. Often, this will stop them.
- Then invite them in. When you’ve finished speaking, turn to him: “John, what did you want to add?” It shows respect for yourself, the room, and even for John. Over time, hopefully it will change the pattern.
Here is an example. In a meeting, try: “John, I appreciate your comment, and I’d really like to hear what you have to add when I’m finished. Let me continue my point.” If it continues, be firmer: “John, I can’t hear you when you talk over me. Let me finish, and then I’m genuinely interested in what you’re thinking.”
If it keeps happening, and you feel safe, talk to John privately, and remember, he may just be excited. Try: “I’ve noticed a few times when I’m speaking that you’ve jumped in and talked over me. Please let me finish my points.” Use specific examples. If John keeps doing it, bring it to your leader and ask them to watch for it in meetings. If the interrupter is your leader, consider a trusted senior colleague, a mentor, or HR.
The bottom line
At best, interrupting is a bad habit and, too often, a cultural norm. At worst, it’s a power play and someone is choosing to dominate a conversation or dismiss another person’s input. Norms change when leaders set the standard and clear expectations. But we all have the opportunity and the responsibility to look at our own habits honestly, and to be the person who speaks up when someone else needs support.
You’ve got this.